Quotes of the Month: September 2013

Quote of the Month: "I'll tell you the difference with Green Eggs and Ham is when Americans tried it, they discovered they did not like green eggs and ham and they did not like Obamacare either. They did not like Obamacare in a box with a fox, in a house or with a mouse."

-Senator Ted Cruz

Stupid Quote of the Month: “She is older than her chronological age” she was ”as much in control of the situation.”

-Judge G. Todd Baugh on a 14-year-old rape victim

And the Rest…

"I would think the mayor of a city that recently experienced a deadly bombing attack would be more sensitive and not use the phrase 'blow up.'"

-Mayor Bing about the Mayor of Boston's comments about Detroit

"Some people could find a flaw in Bo Derek,”

-Jim Leyland on Max Scherzer’s idiotic critics

"And as RKK would say, if you're a turd, it's going to come back to you."

-Tom Brady on Johnny Manziel

"Let Allah sort it out."

-Sarah Palin on Syria

"Kerry can be forgiven for being at odds with the president. The president, in the space of his 16-minute address, was often at odds with himself... Nuance can sound a lot like a muddle."

-Dana Milbank

"This has been one of the most humiliating episodes in presidential history.”

-Anonymous Democratic Strategist on Obama’s Syria policy.

"If you don't comply, it is treason."

-Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer

“They see it as an act of provocative weakness on America's part.”

-Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham on Obama’s Syria deal

"It is extremely unrealistic, to presume that the peaceful nature of the nuclear program of Iran could be ensured through impeding the program via illegitimate pressures.”

-Iranian President Hassan Rowhani

“It’s on the president’s head, he’s got to lead, he’s got to talk.”

-Bob Woodward on the debt ceiling and failure of the CR

Sports Quotes of the Year: 2012

Quote of the Year:

“I personally think he's an idiot."

-Red Wing Ian White on Gary Bettman

Dumb Quote of the Year:

"Is he a brother or a cornball brother?  We all know he has a white fiancée. There was all this talk about he's a Republican, which, there's no information at all. I'm just trying to dig deeper as to why he has an issue. Because we did find out with Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods was like, I've got black skin, but don't call me black. So people got to wondering about Tiger Woods early on."

-Rob Parker

And the rest…

“My husband can not throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time.”

-Gisele

“And Randy, not like any other superstar I've met, he has more quit in him than any of those other players.

-Cris Carter on Randy Moss

"(One fan) actually called me a racial slur to begin the game with. He was the only one I had a problem with. People in Boston don't even do that."

-Carl Crawford

"I remember when I went to the ownership meetings in Colorado in August, and I was walking back from dinner with Tony La Russa (retired Cardinals manager) and we're talking about statistics and about WAR. And, no offense to the player, but when I woke up that morning they had on the (ESPN.com) site that Darwin Barney that day was ranked ahead of Miguel Cabrera in WAR. And I don't mean anything against Darwin Barney, but there wasn't a person in Major League Baseball who on that particular day would have traded Miguel Cabrera for Darwin Barney. So, when people say WAR is all-encompassing, that loses the argument to me right there."

-Tigers GM Dave Dombrowski

"We are not prepared to open another season until we have a new collective bargaining agreement,"

- NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman signaling the start of another player lockout.

"No curfew. I live in the basement. I got everything I need. Home cooking … it's awesome."

-Mike Trout on living at home

"I'm ready to go. I'm Applebee's out."

-Jim Leyland on the end of Spring Training

"I have to go over my carefully prepared ad-libs."

-Vin Scully

"Some of them are zombielike. Some honestly have an empty-corpse quality."

Washington State football coach Mike Leach describing his seniors after a 2-4 start

"People always ask me: 'When is the new Pele going to be born?' Never. My father and mother have closed the factory."

-Pele

Quotes of the Month: September 2011

Quote of the Month:

“My neighbor’s two dogs have created more shovel-ready projects than this current administration.”

-Former N.M. Governor Gary Johnson on the Stimulus

Stupid Quote of the Month:

“It’s a very difficult district for Democrats.”

-Debbie Wasserman Schultz on New York 9 (which is 75% Democratic)

Slam of the Month:

“So does anybody want a date with Mayberry? He’s Stanford educated…”

-Hunter Pence on his teammate, John Mayberry’s attempt to ask actress Antoinette Nikprelaj out.

Gaffes of the Month:

"We’re the country that built the Intercontinental Railroad."

-Barack Obama (he meant transcontinental)

“If asking a billionaire to pay the same tax rate as a Jew, uh, as a janitor makes me a warrior for the working class, I wear that with a badge of honor. I have no problem with that.”

-Barack Obama confusing Jews and Janitors

Scary Quote of the Month:

"I think we ought to suspend, perhaps, elections for Congress for two years and just tell them we won't hold it against them, whatever decisions they make, to just let them help this country recover."

-Governor Bev Perdue

And the rest…

OBAMA: "I can see the unemployment line from my house!"

-Ann Coulter

“Has anyone in the history of the world spent more money than Obama?”

-SE Cupp

"London is no longer an English city."

-John Cleese

'President Obama, This Is Your Army. We Are Ready to March. Let's Take These Son of Bitches Out'

-James Hoffa

"I get a code violation for this? I express who I am. We're in America last I checked."

-Serena Williams’ Meltdown at the U.S. Open

“Charlatan is an unfair word. He did an awful lot for effect.”

-JFK on FDR

"S---, you have to get rid of this ball just a split-second quicker."

-Ron Jaworski during a NFL broadcast

“People feel betrayed, disappointed, furious, disgusted, hopeless.”

-Anonymous Democratic Source after losing Weiner’s seat

“If you play against him, you hate him. If you play with him, you hate him a little less.”

-Ozzie Guillen on AJ Pierzynski

“Start drinking early.”

-Tom Brady to Pats fans

“If you love me, you got to help me pass this bill.”

-Barack Obama to supporters

"To our Fans and Friends: As R.E.M., and as lifelong friends and co-conspirators, we have decided to call it a day as a band …”

-R.E.M.

Quotes of the Month: January 2011

Quote of the Month: “Interesting though, as we evolve and realize our social prejudices are unacceptable, we are finding new groups to hate.”


-Simon Pegg

Stupid Quote of the Month: “We have three branches of government. We have a house. We have a senate. We have a president.”

-Senator Charles Schumer

And the rest:

"When I look at waste, fraud and abuse in the bureaucracy and in the government, this is like steroids to pump up the muscles of waste."

-Darrell Issa

"I love that Jeanie Buss' boy toy had something to say about us. I don't know if it was his thought or Jeanie's thought, but it's nice to know that she lets him speak in public about other teams."

-Mark Cuban

"If you don't like a person's vision for the country, you're free to debate that vision. If you don't like their ideas, you're free to propose better ideas. But, especially within hours of a tragedy unfolding, journalists and pundits should not manufacture a blood libel that serves only to incite the very hatred and violence they purport to condemn. That is reprehensible.”

-Sarah Palin

"If they bring a knife, we'll bring a gun."

-Barack Obama (2008)

"The big question wasn't whose rhetoric was right or wrong, but whether our political conversation was worthy of the confidence and trust of the American people.”

-John Kerry

“Crazy. Karma is a b—-.. Gets you every time. Its not good to wish bad on anybody. God sees everything!”

-LeBron James after the Cavs 55 point loss to the Lakers

“LeBron James: How is that karma thing working out?”

-The Cleveland Plain Dealer after James got injured

"He's an asshole. Fuck him."

-Antonio Cromartie on Tom Brady

“Ironically, the best defense against a zombie uprising would be a robot army.”

-Grant Imahara

“It was a meeting of the world’s most powerful communist and the president of China.”

-Craig Ferguson on the Chinese President’s White House visit

“He is a dictator.”

-Harry Reid on Chinese President Hu Jintao

“The Original Miss Saigon tweeted it was “cool” to be working with “Sulu.” It’s like Manila Ice.”

-George Takei

Quotes of the Year: 2010

Quote of the Year:

"We went to a movie and then had a little midnight picnic on a Satanic altar."

-Christine O’Donnell

And the rest:

"I'd rather be a really good one-term president than a mediocre two-term president,"

- Barack Obama

“Obama Forgot Option 3 - Mediocre 1- Term President, & That's What He's Been Thus Far."

-Charles Krauthammer

“Plug the damn hole.”

-Barack Obama

'You're being a crazed sex poodle,'

-Al Gore

"We already have a UN on the ground and it's worthless. Now you want to build one in space?"

-Charles Krauthammer

"Each generation gets the music they deserve.”

-Ray Manzarek

“Please don't ask me if I'm going to die today.”

-Joe Paterno

“The rent is too damn high.”

-Jimmy McMillan

“It should be easy to market the Virgin Galactic commercial space flight. It's the name of the company AND the target audience.”

-Dennis Miller

“Dems really have their finger on the pulse of America. If there's one thing people worry about ALL THE TIME, it's the Chamber of Commerce.”

-Caleb Howe

"I don't want to see my old friend Lucifer just yet."

-Keith Richards

"You touch my junk, and I'm going to have you arrested."

-John Tyner to a TSA guy

"We have harpooned every whale in the ocean - and some minnows."

-Debt Commission Co-Chair Alan Simpson

"I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!!" AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO..."

- Buffalo Bills player Steve Johnson blaming God after dropping a game winning TD pass

"I haven't died. I'm drinking a beer and eating fried chicken."

-Yao Ming

"'When you win, say little. When you lose, say less."

-Tom Brady

"I'm not interested in being a dead f--king hero…so forget 'em, forget 'em."

-John Lennon

"We've become a nation of wusses.”

-Ed Rendell

Quotes of the Month: December 2010

Quote of the Month: "I haven't died. I'm drinking a beer and eating fried chicken."

-Yao Ming

and the rest...

“NASA has found a new form of life? Neat. Call me when it's got heat vision, wears blue pajamas, and flies.”

-Batman

"'When you win, say little. When you lose, say less."

-Tom Brady

“If I'm going to be honest with you, I was angry about it."

-Derek Jeter on negotiations with the Yankees

"I'm not interested in being a dead f--king hero…so forget 'em, forget 'em."

-John Lennon

“Coincidence that Julian Assange looks a lot like "Jigsaw" from the Saw movies?”

-S.E. Cupp

“I thought ‘what the heck have I done?’”

-Hal Smith on his 3-run Homer in Game 7 of the 1960 World Series

"Experts built the Titanic. Amateurs built the Ark."

-Anonymous

"They're in the halls of Congress everywhere, and it means, for example, that you sit on a committee and you say something about concern about Chinese influence or something, you don't even know if in the next election, somehow or another, they manage to send some money to some group that now doesn't even have to say where they got it."

-Carol Shea-Porter on Chinese influence in Congress

"We've become a nation of wusses.”

-Ed Rendell

“If it exists, why not put it out?”

-Chris Mathews on Obama’s birth certificate

Quotes of the Month: September 2010

Quote of the Month: "We went to a movie and then had a little midnight picnic on a satanic altar."


-Christine O’Donnell

Dumb Quote of the Month #1: "Long before America was even an idea, this land of plenty was home to many peoples. The British and French, the Dutch and Spanish, to Mexicans, to countless Indian tribes. We all shared the same land,"

-Barack Obama (Mexico became a nation in 1821. The United States formed in 1776).

Dumb Quote of the Month #2: "He's been out in these countries for decades, building schools, building roads, building infrastructure, building day-care facilities, building health-care facilities, and the people are extremely grateful. He's made their lives better."

-Patty Murray on Osama bin Laden

And the rest:

“They talk about me like a dog.”

-Barack Obama

“Hey, Castro came out against anti-Semitism. I'm putting on my snowsuit and booking the flight to Hell.”

-Jason Alexander

"The time I stand up here blaming the officials for a loss is the time I don't have to do this anymore."

-Detroit Lions Head Coach Jim Schwartz

“We just sucked.”

-Tom Brady on a loss to the Jets

"The United States administrations must recognize Iran is a big power.”

-Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

“We in the Senate refer to Sen. Gillibrand as the hottest member.”

-Harry Reid

“I feel that my role as a former president is probably superior to that of other presidents'.

-Jimmy Carter

"It was his fault. Ted Kennedy killed the bill."

-Jimmy Carter on why he did not pass National Health Care

"Catching Boehner with a mistress is the only way to destroy him politically before the election."

-anonymous source from the NY Times

"I don't want a tomato picked by a Mexican. I want it picked by an American, then sliced by a Guatemalan and served by a Venezuelan in a spa where a Chilean gives me a Brazilian."

-Stephen Colbert

Michigan Games of the Decade for the Aughts #11-20

11. Spartans: 89 Gators: 76 (April 3, 2000): Michigan State won their first NCAA title since 1979 behind the Flintstones and Tom Izzo. Mateen Cleaves was the tournament’s outstanding player. Mo Peterson led the Spartans with 21.

12. Tigers: 8 Yankees: 3 (October 7, 2006): Game 4 ALDS. Jeremy Bonderman was perfect through 5 and the Tigers dominated the Yankees in the game and the series. He went 8 1/3 and Jamie Walker finished up. Magglio Ordonez and Craig Monroe homered for Detroit. The Tigers won their first playoff series since 1984.

13. Tigers: 4 Brewers: 0 (June 12, 2007): Justin Verlander no-hit the Brewers and struck out 12. He was simply dominating. It was the Tigers first no-no since 1984.

14. Buckeyes: 42 Wolverines: 39 (November 18, 2006): Both teams entered the game undefeated and in the national title hunt. Bo Schembechler died the night before the game and the Michigan program has never been the same. Ohio State held on for a 3 point win in Columbus and went onto get creamed by Florida in the National Championship game.

15. Wolverines: 35 Crimson Tide: 34 (OT) (January 1, 2000): The Orange Bowl. Alabama had a two touchdown lead twice in the game. Tom Brady rallied Michigan to tie the score at 28. In overtime, Michigan scored a touchdown. Alabama followed suit, but missed the extra point. Michigan wins.

16. Spartans: 26 Wolverines: 24 (November 3, 2001): The Clock Game. T.J. Duckett ran for 211 yards and Charles “Pass the Dutchie” Rodgers scored a TD in the Spartan win. Michigan led 24-20 with 2 minutes to go. Michigan State ran out the clock, but that did not stop Michigan State. The clock operator took his sweet time and MSU somehow had 1 second to go after time expired. The Spartans scored on a Smoker to Duckett TD pass.

17. Wildcats: 54 Wolverines: 51 (November 4, 2000): This was NOT an overtime game. U of M and Northwestern combined for 1189 yards of offense in the wildest Big Ten game I can remember.

18. Wolverines: 45 Spartans: 37 (3 OT) (October 30, 2004): Michigan trailed 27-10 in the fourth quarter and rallied to send the game to overtime. They had scoring drives of 15 seconds and 14 seconds. Michigan won in the third overtime on a Braylon Edwards touchdown and then got the two point conversion.

19. Spartans: 41 Wildcats: 38 (October 21, 2006): Northwestern led 38-3 in the third quarter. MSU scored 38 straight to win. It was the greatest comeback in Big Ten history.

20. Lions: 38 Browns: 37 (November 22, 2009): Matt Stafford threw for 422 yards and 5 TDs and Calvin Johnson had 161 yards receiving and a TD. The Browns took a pass interference penalty and then called timeout. The TO gave an injured Stafford a chance to return to the game. With no time on the clock, he threw the game-tying touchdown. Jason Hanson won the game with the point after.