Here are the candidates for Tool of the Decade:
Ron Artest: Artest is the headcase that initiated the Malice at the Palace. This tool goes nuts in Auburn Hills and Detroit gets blamed.
Barry Bonds: He cheated…and he cheated because he was jealous of Sosa and McGwire. Oh yeah, he’s also a racist asshole.
Barry Bonds Fans: They are like the Jonestown cult. Despite overwhelming evidence, they still support this guy, his behavior, and make excuses for him.
Hugo Chavez: I am not sure why this thuggish dictator is so popular amongst the left. His heavy handed dictatorship has destroyed the Venezuelan economy and crushed freedoms. Yet, he is popular in American leftist circles.
Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears: Talentless people that are famous for their trashy public behavior.
Perez Hilton: A minor annoyance to be sure. Just when you thought celebrity stalking could not get worse, enter Hilton, TMZ, and other filth.
Bernie Maddoff: He even bankrupted George Castanza (See Curb Your Enthusiasm).
The Music Industry: They eliminated cassette singles, overpriced CD singles to force people to buy full length albums. This created the download craze which they then started suing over (PR Nightmare). All of this and then came American Idol. If you are good at karaoke, then try out! The end result was a collapse of profits, the industry, and the worst crap to be heard on radio since the early 50s.
Reality TV Stars: Who is worse? The fools on reality TV or the fools that watch reality TV?
Michael Vick: Dog fighting? He should have been hung up by his testicles and given an electric cattle prod up his ass.
Kanye West: Where to start…
The Winner: Barry Bonds and his fans
Showing posts with label Perez Hilton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Perez Hilton. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Douche Bag of the Year
Now it is time for my first annual Douche Bag of the Year Award. There were about 20 contenders. I narrowed it down to ten. Here are the nominees for Douche Bag of the Year:
1. ACORN: Now we know what community organizers do. They organize pimps and hos!
2. Anita Dunn: The former White House Communications Director and all around lousy human being loves Chairman Mao and likes to quote him to students. Mao killed 60 million.
3. Global Warming Advocates: Turns out they are not only wrong, but cooking the information as well.
4. Perez Hilton: Gets mad at Carrie Prejean for supporting “traditional” marriage, attacks Fergie, and the cries on his webcam after someone in Will.I.Am’s entourage beat him up. He was the odds on favorite to win this until recently.
5. Notre Dame University: Refusing to go to a bowl game against CMU. COWARDS!
6. Barack Obama: Barack Obama is now the most disliked president of all time at this stage of his presidency. No president has been as low in the polls 11 months into office as Obama. The stimulus failed, the job seminar was a useless photo op, he’s ignored the economy to focus on a health care plan NO ONE wants, Iran has completely snubbed him, it took forever to decide to help the troops in Afghanistan, and world leaders consider him a joke. Lastly, he keeps blaming all the world’s problems on the Republicans, but he was in Congress just as responsible as anyone else for today’s problems. On the bright side, he is going to do a holiday special with Oprah.
7. Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow: If you liked Joseph Goebbels and Eva Braun, these two are for you! Goebbels may have been less hateful than Olbermann.
8. Reality TV Wannabes: Balloon Boy. White House Party Crashers. One of these days, these reality star wannabes are really going to hurt someone.
9. Kanye West: How do you diss Taylor Swift??
10. Tiger Woods: This has become rather amusing. Karma strikes a true phony.
The Winner: Reality TV Wannabes!
1. ACORN: Now we know what community organizers do. They organize pimps and hos!
2. Anita Dunn: The former White House Communications Director and all around lousy human being loves Chairman Mao and likes to quote him to students. Mao killed 60 million.
3. Global Warming Advocates: Turns out they are not only wrong, but cooking the information as well.
4. Perez Hilton: Gets mad at Carrie Prejean for supporting “traditional” marriage, attacks Fergie, and the cries on his webcam after someone in Will.I.Am’s entourage beat him up. He was the odds on favorite to win this until recently.
5. Notre Dame University: Refusing to go to a bowl game against CMU. COWARDS!
6. Barack Obama: Barack Obama is now the most disliked president of all time at this stage of his presidency. No president has been as low in the polls 11 months into office as Obama. The stimulus failed, the job seminar was a useless photo op, he’s ignored the economy to focus on a health care plan NO ONE wants, Iran has completely snubbed him, it took forever to decide to help the troops in Afghanistan, and world leaders consider him a joke. Lastly, he keeps blaming all the world’s problems on the Republicans, but he was in Congress just as responsible as anyone else for today’s problems. On the bright side, he is going to do a holiday special with Oprah.
7. Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow: If you liked Joseph Goebbels and Eva Braun, these two are for you! Goebbels may have been less hateful than Olbermann.
8. Reality TV Wannabes: Balloon Boy. White House Party Crashers. One of these days, these reality star wannabes are really going to hurt someone.
9. Kanye West: How do you diss Taylor Swift??
10. Tiger Woods: This has become rather amusing. Karma strikes a true phony.
The Winner: Reality TV Wannabes!
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