Quotes of the Month: January 2016

Quote of the Month: "I’ve done my damage"
-Ahmed Best on Jar Jar Binks

Stupid Quote of the Month: “It’s unfortunate that the entire country is a racist country.”
-Danny DeVito

And the rest...
“This president is a petulant child. Now this president wants to act as if he’s a king, as if he’s a dictator."
-Chris Christie on Obama's executive action on guns

"He was smart, funny, curious and dedicated. We made a pact to give MASH all we had and it bonded us. I loved Wayne. I'll miss him very much."
-Alan Alda on Wayne Rogers

"It was all good until my eyelashes froze."
-Richard Sherman, on playing in sub-zero temperatures
 Right now, it feels as if the solar system
is off it’s axis, as if one of our
main planetary anchors has
lost it’s orbit. That said—I am
certain that wherever Bowie is
now—I want to be there someday.
—Michael Stipe

“I was born dead.”
-Charlie Sheen

"The bond we forged 45 years ago was never broken, even during the 14 years that the Eagles were dissolved, he said. "We were two young men who made the pilgrimage to Los Angeles with the same dream:  to make our mark in the music industry - and with perseverance, a deep love of music, our alliance with other great musicians and our manager, Irving Azoff, we built something that has lasted longer than anyone could have dreamed."
-Don Henley on Glen Frey

"Today the inevitable candidate doesn't look quite as inevitable as she did eight and a half months ago!"
-Bernie Sanders

"I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible."
-Donald Trump

Top 10 Sports movies

1. Hoosiers (1986)
2. Rocky (1976)
3. Field of Dreams (1989)
4. Cinderella Man (2005)
5. The Natural (1984)
6. Slap Shot (1977)
7. Bull Durham (1988)
8. Caddyshack (1980)
9. Eight Men Out (1988)
10. Brian's Song (1971)

Greatest baseball movies

1. Field of Dreams (1989)
2. The Natural (1984)
3. Bull Durham (1988)
4. Pride of the Yankees (1942)
5. The Sandlot (1993)
6. Eight Men Out (1988)
7. A League of Their Own (1992)
8. The Winning Team (1952)
9.  Major League (1989)
10. Bad News Bears (1976)

Quotes of the Year: 2011

Quote of the Year:

“Daniel Craig’s my Wookie bitch now!”

-Harrison Ford to Chewbacca

Stupid Quote of the Year:

“I would put our legislative and foreign policy accomplishments in our first two years against any president — with the possible exceptions of Johnson, F.D.R., and Lincoln — just in terms of what we’ve gotten done in modern history.”

-Barack Obama

Meltdown of the Year:

“It's no longer acceptable in mixed company -- meaning bipartisan company -- to use the goddamn word 'climate.' And some of the exact same people — I can go down a list of their names — are involved in this. And so what do they do? They pay pseudo-scientists to pretend to be scientists to put out the message: ‘This climate thing, it’s nonsense. Man-made CO2 doesn’t trap heat. It may be volcanoes.’ Bullshit! ‘It may be sun spots.’ Bullshit! ‘It’s not getting warmer.’ Bullshit!

-Al Gore

Twilight Zone Quote of the Year:

"Dreamt I died in Chicago next weekend (heart attack in my sleep). Need to write my will today."

-Former Weezer Bassist Mikey Welsh one week before he suddenly died.
　

And the rest:

“Interesting though, as we evolve and realize our social prejudices are unacceptable, we are finding new groups to hate.”

-Simon Pegg

“You spend your life fighting the spread of evil. Then you learn a Kardashian is pregnant.”

-Batman

“Ironically, the best defense against a zombie uprising would be a robot army.”

-Grant Imahara

“If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I’m gonna be really pissed.”

-Chuck Lorre

"They picked a fight with a warlock."

-Charlie Sheen on his feud with CBS

“Winning.”

-Charlie Sheen

"There are not any plans to erect a statue to RoboCop. Thank you for your suggestion."

-Detroit Mayor Dave Bing

"God didn't create all men equal, Smith and Wesson did."

-Top Shot

“I for one welcome our new computer overlords.”

-Ken Jennings

"I never hugged him, I bombed him."

-Margaret Thatcher

“Who wants to go to Europe. It’s not Detroit.”

-Jalen Rose

"They say I have no hits and I'm difficult to work with. And they say that like it's a bad thing."

-Tom Waits

“People like crap.”

-Getty Lee on popular music

“Will the universe end? many ask. Yes. Not with a bang but a whimper. Not in fire, but in ice. Not in light, but in darkness.”

-Neil deGrasse Tyson

"Why don't you just arrest me?"

-Nicholas Cage to police

"I'm now at the "happiest place on earth". And I'm not happy about it.”

-Brent Spiner

“Clarence doesn't leave the E Street Band when he dies. He leaves when we die.”

-Bruce Springsteen

"As far as I'm concerned, Betty Ford saved my life."

-Stevie Nicks

"To our Fans and Friends: As R.E.M., and as lifelong friends and co-conspirators, we have decided to call it a day as a band …”

-R.E.M.

“It’s hard to accept being liked.”

-Andy Rooney

“This is a tragedy. It is one of the great sorrows of my life. With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more.”

-Joe Paterno

Douche Bag of the Year (2011)

Been a good year for Douche Bags…Here are the nominees for Douche Bag of the Year for 2011...

Casey Antony & other baby killers: There seemed to be an inordinate amount of people suspected of murdering their children. Casey Anthony became the poster child for this lot. In her case, another stupid jury decided to acquit as opposed to use common sense. The Anthony Jury’s infamy ranks with the O.J, Michael Jackson, and Robert Blake juries.

Charlie Sheen: ‘nuf said.

Herman Cain: Cain served as a lesson to those looking to run for presidency without really expecting to win.

Kim Kardashian: A total waste of space.

Barack Obama: Entering the fourth year of a failed presidency, Obama decides to attack Washington and engage in bigoted class warfare…even though he’s been part of the Washington establishment for a decade. He is no longer interested in governing.

Occupy Wall Street: A vacuous movement that has railed against capitalism and big banks. While most can sympathize with the attacks on banks, the movement has engaged in a number of crimes and vandalism leading to over 5000 arrests.

Justin Bieber: Is his 15 minutes up yet?

Donald Trump: The term media whore applies here.

Eric Holder: Holder sues Arizona while shipping guns to Mexican drug cartels. He absolves voter intimidation in 2008 while attacking states for trying to ensure people’s voting rights.

Ashton Kutcher: Not quite Charlie Sheen, but he did replace him on TV.

The NBA: Anyone notice the lockout?

The Philadelphia Eagles: They dubbed themselves the Dream team…hubris.

Pedophiles in sports: Penn State, Bill Conlin, & Syracuse all had their own scandals involving underage abuse.

Congress: Osama Bin Laden may be more popular than Congress.

and the winner: Casey Anthony

Former winners: Reality TV people (2009), LeBron James (2010)

Quotes of the Month: March 2011

Quote of the Month:

"They say I have no hits and I'm difficult to work with. And they say that like it's a bad thing."


-Tom Waits


Dumb Quote of the Month:

“It’s modern-day slavery, you know?”



-Adrian Peterson


And the rest...

“I don’t judge a person by what they’ve done and what they’re going to do.”


-SF Giants Pitcher Brian Wilson on Charlie Sheen

"How much is the hockey and how much is the fighting, we don't really know."

Dr. Robert Cantu on Bob Probert’s CTE

“However, the result is that I have ended up sounding like a tormented weirdo who thinks he was at the Alamo in another life, who feels very sorry for himself, and is retiring hurt because of the bad press over the years.”

-Phil Collins

“A small house fire in LA has been attributed to Charlie Sheen's publicist exploding. No one else was hurt.”

-Simon Pegg

“I’m just hopeful the coach doesn’t dismiss me.”

-OSU President E. Gordon Gee

"I've had a player murdered; I've had a player incarcerated; I've had a player get taken into the drug culture and lose his opportunity for a productive life. And so it was obviously tremendously concerning. Quite honestly, I was scared."

-Jim Tressel

“I would hug them and had some ice cream.”

-Ron Artest on the Miami Heat players crying after a loss

“You can tell I did not do very well in Russian."

-Joe Biden after butchering Mikhail Khodorkovsky’s name in a Moscow speech

“Winning.”

-Charlie Sheen

"I never hugged him, I bombed him."

-Margaret Thatcher

“Who wants to go to Europe. It’s not Detroit.”

-Jalen Rose

“It would be wonderful for people to maybe offer a little help to the Japanese people at this time -- as they’re filling out their brackets.”

-Barack Obama setting priorities

"You keep practicing, you'll go places!"

-Neil Diamond to Bruce Springsteen

“That’s the world of prostitution. You never know what you’re going to get.”

-Lawrence Taylor

"The United States cannot afford, nor do we have the authority, to intervene."

-Rep. Dennis Kucinich

Quotes of the Month: February 2011

Quote of the Month: “If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I’m gonna be really pissed.”


-Chuck Lorre

Dumb Quote of the Month: “All my people love me.”

-Moamer Gadhafi

And the rest…

“Blame Nicki Minaj for females calling themselves Barbies knowin’ they look like a Build-a-bear. “

-?

"There are not any plans to erect a statue to RoboCop. Thank you for your suggestion."

-Detroit Mayor Dave Bing

"100 years after president Reagan's birth, it is worth remembering that the Cold War didn't just end. It was won."

-Donald Rumsfeld

"God didn't create all men equal, Smith and Wesson did."

-Top Shot

"'They may be talking about democracy but they don't know what they're talking about and the result will be extremism and radical Islam.'"

-Hosni Mubarak on Barack Obama

"We cannot deter it. We cannot negotiate with it any more than an iceburg or a great white. I refer to the debt - the new red menace, this time consisting of ink."

-Mitch Daniels

“The Obama agenda is over.”

-Mitch McConnell

“Death to the dictator.”

-Iranian Protestors

“I take my hat off to myself.”

-Carmelo Anthony

“I for one welcome our new computer overlords.”

-Ken Jennings

“My mother was a great Pirates fan. She knows we’re in trouble, so she went upstairs to get some help.”

-Chuck Tanner (1979)

“The problem is -- and dare I say this -- it doesn't look like Michelle Obama follows her own nutritionary, dietary advice. And then we hear that she's out eating ribs at 1,500 calories a serving with 141 grams of fat per serving, yeah it does -- what do you mean, what do I mean? What is it - no, I'm trying to say that our First Lady does not project the image of women that you might see on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, or of a woman [professional baseball player] Alex Rodriguez might date every six months or what have you. I mean, women are under constant pressure to look lithe, and Michelle My Belle is out there saying if you eat the roots and tree bark and the berries and all this cardboard stuff you will live longer, be healthier and you won't be obese. Okay, fine, show us.”

-Rush Limbaugh

"Duke was a fine man, a terrific hitter and a great friend - even though he was a Dodger.”

-Willie Mays on Duke Snider

"They picked a fight with a warlock."

-Charlie Sheen on his feud with CBS