Stupid Quotes of 2015

Quote of the Year: ''You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever."
-Donald Trump on Megyn Kelly

Quote of the Year (Runner Up): "I don't think they're gaining strength. What is true, from the start our goal has been first to contain and we have contained them."
-Barack Obama one day before the Paris attacks

Typo of the Year: …”she’s fought children and families all her career.”
-Hillary Clinton presidential announcement

And the rest:
"We were taught snipers were cowards. Will shoot u in the back. Snipers aren't heroes. "
-Michael Moore

"You have to be careful about drinking around me."
-Bill Cosby

“Because Michael, face it -- the guy was basically average in terms of size, strength, speed, jumping ability, all the things that you seem to think make a great player.”
-Bill Walton on Michael Jordan

"Unless we get on our high horse and think this is unique to some other place,
remember that during the Crusades and the Inquisition, people committed terrible
deeds in the name of Christ."
-Barack Obama at the 2015-national-prayer-breakfast

"Well, watch out, you know that Michelle Obama looks like she's from the cast of 'Planet of the Apes,' the movie."
-Rodner Figueroa

"Members deserve to be paid, staff deserves to be paid and the cost of living here is causing serious problems for people who are not wealthy to serve in this institution."
-Rep. Alcee Hastings

"When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending the best ... they're sending
people that have lots of problems and they're bringing those problems. They're
bringing drugs, they're bringing crime. They're rapists and some, I assume, are
good people, but I speak to border guards and they're telling us what we're
getting,"
-Donald Trump

“If you are a white man in America, this country is changing dramatically. You have always been in charge. So there is something to white men feeling like something has been taken away from them.”
-Annonymous White House Official quoted in Washington Post
"I identify with black."
-Rachel Dolezal

"It was very courageous and brave, if not crazy as well, to open fire on the police headquarters.”
-Fredericka Whitfield on the attack on Dallas Police HQ
"I like people that weren't captured."
-Donald Trump

"Everybody thought Hillary Clinton was unbeatable, right? But we put together a Benghazi special committee, a select committee. What are her numbers today? Her numbers are dropping. Why? Because she's untrustable. But no one would have known any of that had happened had we not fought."
-Kevin McCarthy

“If only there was a ‘coon of the year’ award."
-Professor Anthea Butler on Ben Carson

There's something different about what happened from Charlie Hebdo, and I think everybody would feel that. There was a sort of particularized focus and perhaps even a legitimacy in terms of -- not a legitimacy, but a rationale that you could attach yourself to somehow and say, okay, they're really angry because of this and that. This Friday was absolutely indiscriminate. It wasn't to aggrieve one particular sense of wrong. It was to terrorize people."
-John Kerry

"I have to call a murder a murder and I have to call the murderers the murderers.”
-Quentin Tarantino on police officers

“The terrible events in Paris were obviously a terrible and sickening setback.”
-Barack Obama

Quotes of the Year: 2015

Quote of the Year : "A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP"
-Leonard Nimoy

Quote of the Year (Runner Up): "America has shown to me as an immigrant, that it is the land of opportunity. And I appreciate America so much and this is why it was so important for me to give something back. And we have to keep it the #1 country in the world. So I want to say thank you to America; that you have given me everything that I have."
-Arnold Schwartzenegger

And the rest...
"As I write this, it is not clear that I will ever play guitar again."
-Bono

"What we've said all along, and have been called bigots for it, is when there's this many bad apples, there's something wrong with the orchard."
Bill Maher on Islam

"The interesting thing about Mulder is nominally he is law enforcement but he never solved one case in nine years. So he’s the worst F.B.I. agent of all time."
-David Duchovny

"Fuck you Eddie Van Halen."
-Sammy Hagar

"Whatever you think of Reagan, you have to admit, he had a black belt in badassery."
-Brad Meltzer

"It was all this contemporary music geared for that audience, and it was so disappointing listening to it. Really weak songwriting, insipid vocals and productions. It was really discouraging. I was sorry to hear that. You're waiting for something to happen, musically. You're waiting for some great thing. Like every generation or every decade seemed to have that big thing that carried it through. There's nothing now, at least in rock."

-Alex Liefson

"I felt like I was in a period-piece sometimes. Because I could hear echoes or
sensations of Connery or of Roger, which I didn't try to censor; I'd just allow
them to come in."
-Pierce Brosnan

"Some people think it's a genius album, but I think it's a mishmash of rubbish, kind of like '(Their) Satanic Majesties.'”
-Keith Richards on Sgt. Pepper's

“I’m the only one to separate Siamese twins.”
-Ben Carson

"Calm people live. Tense people die."
-Adam Savage

“Don’t be a slave like I was.”
-Carrie Fisher

Political Quotes of the Year: 2015

Quote of the Year: "No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they dorespect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find itsfulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.
-Anthony Kennedy in Obergefell v Hodges (2015)

Quote of the Year (runner up): "To me, especially in the Northeast, confronting my white privilege is going to the tanning salon."
-Katie Pavlich

Reality Check: "On the world stage, I think [Obama's accomplishments] have been minimal. But on the world stage, just to be objective about it, I can't think of many nations in the world where we have a better relationship now than when he took over."
-Jimmy Carter

And the rest...
"Congratulations to the president for turning a two year recession into a six year one."
-Kimberly Gilfoyle

“To state the obvious, the past six years have been really, really hard for this country.”
-Joe Biden

“I do not believe, and I know this is a horrible thing to say, but I do not believe that the president loves America."
-Rudy Giuliani

"Poor people have been voting Democratic for 50 years, and they're still poor."
-Charles Barkley

"What I dream is that for one election ... every black person in America vote Republican."
-Stephen A Smith

"Get over your temper tantrum, Mr. President."
-John McCain

"we also gave those who wished to destroy space to do that as well."
-Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake

"There is a liberal fascism that is dedicated to going after believing Christians who follow the biblical teaching on marriage."
-Ted Cruz

“If Sue loves Joe and Tom loves Joe, Sue can marry Joe but Tom cannot,  why isn’t that a straightforward case of sexual discrimination?”
-John Roberts

“When will the media ask @BarackObama & @HillaryClinton key question for 2016- Knowing what we know now, would you still have abandoned Iraq?”
-Liz Cheney

"Let's be honest: Some black lives really don't matter. If you are a young black man shot in the head by another young black man, almost certainly no one will know your name. Al Sharpton won't come rushing to your family's side with cameras in tow. MSNBC won't discuss the significance of your death. No one will protest, or even riot, for you. You are a statistic, not a cause. Just another dead black kid, politically useless to progressives and the media, therefore all but invisible."
-Rich Lowry

"I won't be the youngest president, but with your help I'll be the youngest female president."
-Hillary Clinton

"Racism, we are not cured of it. And it's not just a matter of it not being
polite to say [n-word] in public."
-Barack Obama

“We should start calling this law SCOTUScare."
-Antonin Scalia on King v Burwell (2015)

"The Iran deal will take the Israelis and march them to the door of the oven.”
-Mike Huckabee
"What a stunning historic mistake!"
-Benjamin Netanyahu on the Iran nuclear deal

"What is the difference between a Democrat and a Socialist?"
-Chris Matthews

“She counts on the fact that people are uninformed. The Alinsky model, taking advantage of useful idiots.”
-Ben Carson

“I think God has blessed us, he’s blessed the Republican Party with some very good candidates. The Democrats can’t even find one.”
-Marco Rubio

"The darkness from a decade ago has lifted, the Crescent City has risen again, and its best days lie ahead."
-George W Bush

“We don’t need an apprentice in the White House. We have one right now.”
-Scott Walker

"LGBT community (GGGG) are like the gay white KKK's. Get them some pink hoods and unicorns and let them rally down rodeo drive."
-Azealia Banks

"If you vote to send billions of dollars to jihadists who have pledged to bear direct responsibility to murder Americans, then you bear direct responsibility for the murders carried out with the dollars you have given them. You cannot wash your hands of that blood."
-Ted Cruz on the Iran deal

“Seventy years after the murder of 6 million Jews, Iran’s rulers promise to destroy my country, murder my people, and the response from this body, the response from nearly every one of the governments represented here has been absolutely nothing. Utter silence. Deafening silence.” .
-Benjamin Netanyahu

"We Live in a World Where Facts Don’t Matter"
-Charles Krauthammer

“I never took a position on Keystone until I took a position on Keystone.”
- Hillary Clinton

“You can tell the Egyptian prime minister it’s a terrorist attack, but you can’t tell your own people?”
-Jim Jordan to Hillary Clinton

"I’ve got a lot of really cool things I could do other than sit around, being miserable, listening to people demonize me and me feeling compelled to demonize them. That is a joke. Elect Trump if you want that."
-Jeb Bush

"Hillary is running for a lot of reasons—one of ‘em is because she wants to stay out of jail."
-Donald Trump

"Why can't we take out these bastards?"
-Reporter to Obama

"She's killed hundreds of thousands of people with her stupidity."
-Donald Trump on Hillary

"This president won't be the same feckless weakling that we have in the Oval Office right now."
-Chris Christie

"Hillary Clinton has announced that she is letting her husband out to campaign but HE'S DEMONSTRATED A PENCHANT FOR SEXISM, so inappropriate."
-Donald Trump

“She was favored to win and she got schlonged."
-Donald Trump

Sports Quotes of the Year: 2015

Quote of the Year: "Just give me two hours, and you're going to have 50, 60, 70 years of memories. Two hours, can you sacrifice, and reach down and give me two hours, so that you can have a lifetime of memories for you, your family, your kids and your kids' kids? That's the memories I'm talking about!"
-Tom Izzo

Quote of the Year (runner up): "A Cespedis for the rest of us"?
-Jerry Seinfeld

And the rest...
“Because Michael, face it -- the guy was basically average in terms of size, strength, speed, jumping ability, all the things that you seem to think make a great player.”
-Bill Walton on Michael Jordan

 “Don’t cry.”
-Rhonda Rousey to Bethe Correia after knocking her out

"Our goal was to come in here and make the 'Red Rifle' look like a Red Ryder BB gun, and I think we did that.”
-JJ Watt on Andy Dalton

"My heart can take the pounding, my mind can handle the grind, but my body knows it's time to say goodbye."
-Kobe Bryant

"In short, Mr. Rose has not presented credible evidence of a reconfigured life either by an honest acceptance by him of his wrongdoing, so clearly established by the Dowd Report, or by a rigorous, self-aware and sustained program of avoidance by him of all the circumstances that led to his permanent ineligibility in 1989. Absent such credible evidence, allowing him to work in the game presents an unacceptable risk of a future violation by him of Rule 21, and thus to the integrity of our sport. I, therefore, must reject Mr. Rose's application for reinstatement."
 -Rob Manfred

Quotes of the Month: December 2015

Quote of the Month: "To me, especially in the Northeast, confronting my white privilege is going to the tanning salon."
-Katie Pavlich

Stupid Quote of the Month: “I sold them to the white slavers that takes these things, and…,”
-George Lucas on the sale of Star Wars to Disney

and the rest...

"Like I always say, the 2nd Amendment, the provision that gives every American the right to keep and bear arms, is blind and stupid."
-Geraldo

"This whole white privilege thing is indeed racist."
-Katie Pavlich

"She's killed hundreds of thousands of people with her stupidity."
-Donald Trump on Hillary

"In short, Mr. Rose has not presented credible evidence of a reconfigured life either by an honest acceptance by him of his wrongdoing, so clearly established by the Dowd Report, or by a rigorous, self-aware and sustained program of avoidance by him of all the circumstances that led to his permanent ineligibility in 1989. Absent such credible evidence, allowing him to work in the game presents an unacceptable risk of a future violation by him of Rule 21, and thus to the integrity of our sport. I, therefore, must reject Mr. Rose's application for reinstatement."
 -Rob Manfred

"This president won't be the same feckless weakling that we have in the Oval Office right now."
-Chris Christie

"Hillary Clinton has announced that she is letting her husband out to campaign but HE'S DEMONSTRATED A PENCHANT FOR SEXISM, so inappropriate."
-Donald Trump

“She was favored to win and she got schlonged."
-Donald Trump

Douche Bags of 2015

Here are the greatest Douche Bags of 2015.

Black Lives Matter: All lives matter you jack offs.

Stephanie Rawlings-Blake: Stand down? Sure let them riot.

Donald Trump: Where to begin...

Rachel Dolezal: You are white sweetie.

Barack Obama: The Father of Isis will become the Father of the Iranian Nuclear Bomb.

Bruce Jenner: You are a boy dude. XY chromosome means you are a boy. You are also an attention whore.

The Duggars: Hypocrites.

The Affluenza Teen: Grow up.

Martin Shkreli: Karma is a bitch.

The Kardashians: Turning Lamar Odom's hospitalization into a PR opportunity is a new low.

Jared Fogel: Enough said.

And the winners: The Kardashians and Jared Fogel

Previous Winners: Bill Cosby (2014), Barack Obama (2013), Jerry Sandusky, Joe Paterno, Penn State (2012), Casey Anthony (2011), LeBron James (2010), and Reality TV Stars (2009)

Man of the Year (2015)

Here are the people of the year for 2015 as chose by myself.

Robin Lord Taylor: Brought the Penguin to life.

Kansas City Royals: First title in 30 years.

Golden State Warriors: First true super team in a couple decades.

Mick Fanning: Winning titles and fighting sharks.

Rhonda Rhousey: She was everywhere in 2015. Made the other girls jealous.

Iran: They get to play with nuclear weapons (thanks Obama).

Donald Trump: The Summer of Trump.

Holly Holm: Beat the previously mentioned Rhousey.

Lauren Hill: Courage.

Adele: The first time in years an album release was an event.

Jim Harbaugh: Bringing Michigan back!

and the winner is Jim Harbaugh!


Past Winners: Meriam Ibraheem (2014); Mariano Rivera (2013), Miguel Cabrera (2012), Justin Verlander (2011), Drew Brees (2010), Leonard Nimoy (2009), Barack Obama (2008), Al Gore (2007), Rahm Emmanuel (2006)

Quotes of the Month: November 2015

Quote of the Month:"Hillary is running for a lot of reasons—one of ‘em is because she wants to stay out of jail."

-Donald Trump

Stupid Quote of the Month:"There's something different about what happened from Charlie Hebdo, and I think everybody would feel that. There was a sort of particularized focus and perhaps even a legitimacy in terms of -- not a legitimacy, but a rationale that you could attach yourself to somehow and say, okay, they're really angry because of this and that. This Friday was absolutely indiscriminate. It wasn't to aggrieve one particular sense of wrong. It was to terrorize people."
-John Kerry

And the rest...
"I have to call a murder a murder and I have to call the murderers the murderers.”
-Quentin Tarantino on police officers

"By every measure that we define success in this country this guy had it, great looking guy, well educated, great career, plenty of money, beautiful loving wife, beautiful children, great house, he had everything. He's a drug addict and he couldn't get help and he's dead."
-Chris  Christie
"For what you should never do: Don’t bite my teeth!”
-Rhonda Roussey
“Don’t be a slave like I was.”
-Carrie Fisher
"I don't really have any respect for anyone who thinks those films are good. They’re not. (They’re) a monumental misunderstanding of what the (original) three films are about. It's an exercise in utter infanticide ... (like) George Lucas killing his kid."
-Simon Pegg
"I don't think they're gaining strength. What is true, from the start our goal has been first to contain and we have contained them."
-Barack Obama one day before the Paris attacks
"Why can't we take out these bastards?"
-Reporter to Obama
"Our goal was to come in here and make the 'Red Rifle' look like a Red Ryder BB gun, and I think we did that.”
-JJ Watt on Andy Dalton
“The terrible events in Paris were obviously a terrible and sickening setback.”
-Barack Obama
"My heart can take the pounding, my mind can handle the grind, but my body knows it's time to say goodbye."
-Kobe Bryant

Quotes of the Month: October 2015

Quote of the Month: "We Live in a World Where Facts Don’t Matter"
-Charles Krauthammer

Stupid Quote of the Month:
“If only there was a ‘coon of the year’ award."
-Professor Anthea Butler on Ben Carson

And the rest...
"If I don't move, I'll be demoted to Secretary of State or something."
-Joe Biden

"What about a real black President who can properly address the racial divide?"
- Rupert Murdoch

"I'm really not even a human being."
-Hillary Clinton

“I never took a position on Keystone until I took a position on Keystone.”
- Hillary Clinton

"We may have overestimated his anger management skills."
-Megyn Kelly on Donald Trump

“I just don’t like the guy.”
-George W Bush on Ted Cruz

"The acoustic guitar is the most important."
-Keith Richards

“You can tell the Egyptian prime minister it’s a terrorist attack, but you can’t tell your own people?”
-Jim Jordan to Hillary Clinton

"I’ve got a lot of really cool things I could do other than sit around, being miserable, listening to people demonize me and me feeling compelled to demonize them. That is a joke. Elect Trump if you want that."
-Jeb Bush

"Calm people live. Tense people die."
-Adam Savage

“I’ve got to tell you the truth — even in New Jersey what you’re doing is called rude.”
-Chris Christie to the CNBC Moderator

“That debate reflected a debate between the Bolsheviks and the Mensheviks.”
-Ted Cruz

Quotes of the Month: September 2015

Quote of the Month: “We don’t need an apprentice in the White House. We have one right now.”
-Scott Walker

Stupid Quote of the Month: "LGBT community (GGGG) are like the gay white KKK's. Get them some pink hoods and unicorns and let them rally down rodeo drive."
-Azealia Banks

and the rest...
"I have signed the pledge."
-Donald Trump

"I'm sorry about that."
-Hillary Clinton on the email scandal

"If you vote to send billions of dollars to jihadists who have pledged to bear direct responsibility to murder Americans, then you bear direct responsibility for the murders carried out with the dollars you have given them. You cannot wash your hands of that blood."
-Ted Cruz on the Iran deal

"Four years ago, I made a serious mistake — one that brought discredit on me and pain to those closest to me."
-David Petraeus

"Call off your fucking dogs Barack."
-Hillary Clinton

"It's become clear to me that this prolonged leadership turmoil would do irreparable harm to the institution."
-John Boehner

"Beware of false prophets."
-John Boehner


"It won't happen again."
-Barack Obama on Chinese hacks

“Seventy years after the murder of 6 million Jews, Iran’s rulers promise to destroy my country, murder my people, and the response from this body, the response from nearly every one of the governments represented here has been absolutely nothing. Utter silence. Deafening silence.” .
-Benjamin Netanyahu

"Everybody thought Hillary Clinton was unbeatable, right? But we put together a Benghazi special committee, a select committee. What are her numbers today? Her numbers are dropping. Why? Because she's untrustable. But no one would have known any of that had happened had we not fought."
-Kevin McCarthy

 "I'll keep going as long as I'm physically able."
-Daniel Craig

Quotes of the Month: August 2015

Quote of the Month: “Don’t cry.”

-Rhonda Rousey to Bethe Correia after knocking her out

Stupid Quote of the Month: "You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever."

-Donald Trump on Megyn Kelly

And the rest...
"Some people think it's a genius album, but I think it's a mishmash of rubbish, kind of like '(Their) Satanic Majesties.'”
-Keith Richards on Sgt. Pepper's

“I’m the only one to separate Siamese twins.”
-Ben Carson

“She counts on the fact that people are uninformed. The Alinsky model, taking advantage of useful idiots.”
-Ben Carson

“I think God has blessed us, he’s blessed the Republican Party with some very good candidates. The Democrats can’t even find one.”
-Marco Rubio

“I’m perfectly at ease with whatever comes.”
-Jimmy Carter on his cancer diagnosis

"Just in case y'all not going to decide to do the right thing, if y'all got a crew, you got to have a fall guy in the crew."
-Chris Carter

"The darkness from a decade ago has lifted, the Crescent City has risen again, and its best days lie ahead."
-George W Bush

Quotes of the Month: July 2015

Quote of the Month:
"A Cespedis for the rest of us"?
-Jerry Seinfeld

Stupid Quote of the Month:
"I like people that weren't captured."
-Donald Trump






And the rest...
"On the world stage, I think [Obama's accomplishments] have been minimal. But on the world stage, just to be objective about it, I can't think of many nations in the world where we have a better relationship now than when he took over."
-Jimmy Carter

"I felt like I was in a period-piece sometimes. Because I could hear echoes or
sensations of Connery or of Roger, which I didn't try to censor; I'd just allow
them to come in."
-Pierce Brosnan

"This issue is not really an issue that is on the foremost mind of Kenyans and that is a fact."
-Kenyan President Uhuru Kenyatta after Obama embarrassed himself with a lecture on gay rights
"The Iran deal will take the Israelis and march them to the door of the oven.”
-Mike Huckabee

What a stunning historic mistake!"
-Benjamin Netanyahu on the Iran nuclear deal

"What is the difference between a Democrat and a Socialist?"
-Chris Matthews

Quotes of the Month: June 2015

Quote of the Month:
"No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they dorespect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find itsfulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.
-Anthony Kennedy in Obergefell v Hodges (2015)


Stupid Quote of the Month:
"When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending the best ... they're sending
people that have lots of problems and they're bringing those problems. They're
bringing drugs, they're bringing crime. They're rapists and some, I assume, are
good people, but I speak to border guards and they're telling us what we're
getting,"
-Donald Trump

Racist Comment of the Month:
“If you are a white man in America, this country is changing dramatically. You have always been in charge. So there is something to white men feeling like something has been taken away from them.”
-Annonymous White House Official quoted in Washington Post

And the rest...

"What could he possibly be thinking?”
-Dan Rather reporting on the military's reaction to Obama's Iraq policy

"I won't be the youngest president, but with your help I'll be the youngest female president."
-Hillary Clinton

"I will take nothing and no one for granted. I will run with heart. I will run to win."
-Jeb Bush

"I identify with black."
-Rachel Dolezal

"Fuck you Eddie Van Halen."
-Sammy Hagar

"You're in my house."
-Barack Obama to a heckler

"It was very courageous and brave, if not crazy as well, to open fire on the police headquarters.”
-Fredericka Whitfield on the attack on Dallas Police HQ

"Racism, we are not cured of it. And it's not just a matter of it not being
polite to say [n-word] in public."
-Barack Obama

“We should start calling this law SCOTUScare."
-Antonin Scalia on King v Burwell (2015)

"Whatever you think of Reagan, you have to admit, he had a black belt in badassery."
-Brad Meltzer

"It was all this contemporary music geared for that audience, and it was so disappointing listening to it. Really weak songwriting, insipid vocals and productions. It was really discouraging. I was sorry to hear that. You're waiting for something to happen, musically. You're waiting for some great thing. Like every generation or every decade seemed to have that big thing that carried it through. There's nothing now, at least in rock."

-Alex Liefson

Quotes of the Month: April 2015

Quote of the Month: "America has shown to me as an immigrant, that it is the land of opportunity. And I appreciate America so much and this is why it was so important for me to give something back. And we have to keep it the #1 country in the world. So I want to say thank you to America; that you have given me everything that I have."


-Arnold Schwartzenegger

Stupid Quote of the Month: "we also gave those who wished to destroy space to do that as well."


-Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake

Typo of the Month: …"she’s fought children and families all her career."


-Hillary Clinton presidential announcement

　

And the rest...

　
"We were on Nixon's hit list and now we're in the Library of Congress. Ironic?!"


-John Densmore

"I think he had dinner reservations or a concert to play in."


-Torii Hunter on Country Joe West

"This is embarassing."



-Barack Obama on the Loretta Lynch nomination

"I am a woman."


-Bruce Jenner

"There is a liberal fascism that is dedicated to going after believing Christians who follow the biblical teaching on marriage."


-Ted Cruz

'You think the Middle East is chaotic now? Imagine what it looks like for our grandchildren. That's how Americans should view the deal.'"


-George W Bush

"I have faced many different obstacles in my life, and have always maintained a strong belief that no matter the circumstances, I could overcome those obstacles. While this diagnosis poses a new kind of challenge for me, I intend to stay true to my beliefs. With the support of my family and friends, I will meet this challenge with the same determination and unwavering intensity that I have displayed in all of my endeavors in life. I look forward to being back at the ballpark as soon as possible."


-Kirk Gibson

"If Sue loves Joe and Tom loves Joe, Sue can marry Joe but Tom cannot, why isn’t that a straightforward case of sexual discrimination?"


-John Roberts

Quotes of the Month: March 2015

Quote of the Month:
"Just give me two hours, and you're going to have 50, 60, 70 years of memories. Two hours, can you sacrifice, and reach down and give me two hours, so that you can have a lifetime of memories for you, your family, your kids and your kids' kids? That's the memories I'm talking about!"


-Tom Izzo

Stupid Quote of the Month:
"Well, watch out, you know that Michelle Obama looks like she's from the cast of 'Planet of the Apes,' the movie."


-Rodner Figueroa

　
"They are going to eat him! Sisters . . sisters!"


-Cardinal Crescenzio Sepe when a group of nuns mobbed the Pope

　
"As long as you can go in some neighborhoods and it is easier for you to

buy a firearm than it is for you to buy a book, there are neighborhoods where it

is easier for you to buy a handgun and clips than it is for you to buy a fresh

vegetable, as long as that's the case, we're going to continue to see

unnecessary violence."


-Barack Obama

　
"If Selma taught us anything, it's that our work is never done."


-Barack Obama

　
"Poor people have been voting Democratic for 50 years, and they're still poor."


-Charles Barkley
"What I dream is that for one election ... every black person in America vote Republican."


-Stephen A Smith

　
"Get over your temper tantrum, Mr. President."


-John McCain
　

"The interesting thing about Mulder is nominally he is law enforcement but he never solved one case in nine years. So he’s the worst F.B.I. agent of all time."

-David Duchovny

Quotes of the Month: February 2015

Quote of the Month: "A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP"


-Leonard Nimoy

Stupid Quote of the Month:
"Because Michael, face it -- the guy was basically average in terms of size, strength, speed, jumping ability, all the things that you seem to think make a great player."


-Bill Walton on Michael Jordan


Dueling Confusion of the Month:
"When the final accounting is done, 2014 will have been the most lethal year for global terrorism in the 45 years such data has been compiled."


- Director of National Intelligence James Clapper
"Despite ISIL, despite the visible killings that you see and how horrific they are, we are actually living in a period of less daily threat to Americans and to people in the world than normally; less deaths, less violent deaths today, than through the last century."


-John Kerry
　


and the rest...
"Unless we get on our high horse and think this is unique to some other place,

remember that during the Crusades and the Inquisition, people committed terrible

deeds in the name of Christ."


-Barack Obama at the 2015-national-prayer-breakfast
"The only problem we’re going to have is running out of fuel and bullets."


-King Abdullah
"In attempting to reduce the importance of one great talent over another, you make a mockery of all musicians and music from every genre, including your own."


-Shirley Manson to Kanye West
"They were killed simply for the fact they were Christians."


-Pope Francis I
"I am my own man."


-Jeb Bush
"No religion is responsible for terrorism, people are responsible for violence and terrorism."

-Barack Obama

"I do not believe, and I know this is a horrible thing to say, but I do not believe that the president loves America."


-Rudy Giuliani
"If we looked around the world and say long-term we cannot kill every terrorist around the world nor should we try, how do you get at the root causes of this? Look, it might be too nuanced of an argument for some like I’ve seen over the past 24 hours some of the commentary out but it’s really the smart way for Democrats, for Republicans, military commanders, our partners in the Arab world think we need to combat it."


-Marie Harf

Quotes of the Month: January 2015

Quote of the Month: "Je suis Charlie"


Stupid Quote of the Month: "We were taught snipers were cowards. Will shoot u in the back. Snipers aren't heroes. "

-Michael Moore


And the Rest...
"As I write this, it is not clear that I will ever play guitar again."

-Bono

"Congratulations to the president for turning a two year recession into a six year one."

-Kimberly Gilfoyle

"You have to be careful about drinking around me."

-Bill Cosby

"I hear the sound of time roaring past me, and there is no time to lose. "

-Robert Plant

"Pussy Nation."

-Bill Maher on American Progressives

"What we've said all along, and have been called bigots for it, is when there's this many bad apples, there's something wrong with the orchard."


Bill Maher on Islam

 "The Prophet is avenged."

-Charlie Hebdo terrorists

"Well, this is surreal. I am completely knocked out. Thank you to the Academy for this incredible honor. I am very proud and lucky to be a part of Birdman and can't believe it came to this. I am so fucking excited. Are you allowed to say fuck when you're making a statement for the Oscars? I'm just really fucking excited."

-Emma Stone

"Some think that, excuse me if I use that word, that in order to be good Catholics, we have to be like rabbits. No. Responsible parenthood."

-Pope Francis I

"I have no more campaigns to run. ... I know because I won both of them"

-Barack Obama being a dickhead

"I was in The Tea Party before there was a Tea Party."


-John Boehner

"To state the obvious, the past six years have been really, really hard for this country."


-Joe Biden

"Get out of here, you low-life scum."


-John McCain to Code Pink protesters trying to arrest Henry Kissinger