Ozzie Guillen: Timeline

Born: January 20, 1964

1980: Signed by San Diego Padres

1984: Traded to Chicago White Sox

Debut: April 9, 1985 (White Sox)

1985: AL Rookie of the Year

1985: TSN Rookie of the Year

1992: Major knee injury

1993: White Sox win AL West

1998: Signed by Baltimore Orioles

1998: Signed with Atlanta Braves

1999: Game tying pinch single in NLCS

1999: Braves win NL Pennant

2000: Signed by Tampa Bay Devil Rays

2000: Retired

2001-02: Montreal Expos coach

2003: Florida Marlins coach

2003: Marlins win World Series

2004-11: Manager Chicago White Sox (678-617)

2005: White Sox win World Series

2005: Manager of the Year

2006: Dropped from Hall of Fame ballot (1% of the vote)

2011: Traded to the Florida Marlins

2012: Marlins manager

2012: Suspended for pro-Castro comments

2012: Released by Marlins (69-93)


Accomplishments:
2x World Champion

1985 AL Rookie of the Year

1985 TSN Rookie of the Year

2005 AL Manager of the Year

3x All Star

1990 Gold Glove

.264

28 HR

619 RBI

773 Runs

1764 Hits

169 SB

.626 OPS

20+ SB: 4x

36 steals (1989)

Postseason: .273, 0 HR, 4RBI, 1 SB, .568 OPS (6 series)

As Manager: 747-710 (.513) 1 Pennant and 1 World Championship

Douche Bags of the Year 2012

It’s time for the annual Douche Bag of the Year Awards. So many douche bags this year….

Here are the nominees:

Barack Obama: He accused Romney of being a tax cheat, felon, and other slurs. Although re-elected, the Obama campaign was the sleaziest since 1828.

Mike Love: He fired the original Beach Boys.

Jeffrey Loria and Bud Selig: When will Selig’s reign of terror end? When will Loria’s? Loria should be banned for life.

Ozzie Guillen: Castro is a murderous thug.

Kristen Stewart: The great Trampire of 2012

The Kardashians: Please go away. The only one in that family that has ever done ANYTHING is Bruce Jenner.

Anonymous: Cyber attacks on countries defending themselves is immoral. The Palestinians are NOT victims.

Chris Mathews: He has lost his mind. Praising Hurricane Sandy? Really?

The Media: Worst demonstration of bias since the Soviet Union collapsed.

Austerity Protesters: You guys can cut now or have nothing later.

Mayor Bloomberg: The soda ban and performance during Sandy leave a lot to be desired.

Gary Betman: You might have killed the NHL. Congrats.

Sabermetrics community: You guys embarrassed yourselves during the MVP debate.

And the winners:

Jerry Sandusky/Joe Paterno/Penn State: ‘nuf said.

Previous winners: Reality TV people (2009), LeBron James (2010), Casey Anthony (2011)