Showing posts with label Nancy Pelosi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nancy Pelosi. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Quotes of the Month: December 2013


Quote of the Moment:

“We thought he was going to be the next Messiah.”

-Barbara Walters on Barack Obama

Stupid Quotes of the Month:

“I am a proud non-reader of books. I like to get information from doing stuff like actually talking to people and living real life.”

- Kanye West

And

"It seems like, to me, a vagina -- as a man -- would be more desirable than a man's anus."

-Phil Robertson

Slam of the Month:

"He [Jay Z] got him a big raise, but he got him an extra 30-day vacation -- and it’s called October."

-Pete Rose on Robinson Cano

And the rest:

“Obama’s tardy epiphanies do not temper his enthusiasm for giving sauropod government ever-deeper penetration into society. He thinks this serves equality. Actually, big government inevitably drives an upward distribution of wealth to those whose wealth, confidence and sophistication enable them to manipulate government."

-George Will

“Embrace the suck.”

-Nancy Pelosi

"This isn't a wrinkle, it's a trainwreck."

-Charles Krauthammer on Obamacare

"Oh, this is ridiculous. Yet another person claiming it's racist to have a white Santa.’ And by the way, for all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white."

-Megyn Kelly

 "I think I just became the first president to ever publicly mention Area 51."

-Barack Obama

"I think they're misleading their followers. I think they're pushing our members in places where they don't want to be. And frankly, I just think that they've lost all credibility by opposing legislation before the details are known."

-John Boehner

“I hate how the LGBT community says it’s all about ‘love’ and ‘equality,’” she continued. “However, if you don’t agree with their lifestyle, they spread the most hate. It is so hypocritical it makes my stomach turn. They need to learn how to respect others’ opinions and not just jump to the conclusion that everyone who doesn’t support homosexuality and gay marriage is homophobic.”

-Bristol Palin

 

Friday, January 6, 2012

Political Quotes of the Year: 2011

In no particular order...

“The Obama agenda is over.”

-Mitch McConnell


“Death to the dictator.”

-Iranian Protestors

“Go get a job right after you take a bath.”

-Newt Gingrich to OWS

“I’m a devout Catholic and I honor my faith and love it . . . but they have this conscience thing.”

-Nancy Pelosi

“What the hell are we paying you for?”

-Chris Christie to President Obama

“The Taliban, per se, is not the enemy.”

-Joe Biden

“It was a meeting of the world’s most powerful communist and the president of China.”

-Craig Ferguson on the Chinese President’s White House visit

“Good evening. Tonight, I can report to the American people and to the world that the United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama bin Laden, the leader of al-Qaida, and a terrorist who's responsible for the murder of thousands of innocent men, women, and children.”

-Barack Obama


"Osama always loved Snooki’s hair poof. He called it nature’s turban.”

-Jimmy Kimmel

“With allies like that, who needs the left?”

-Paul Ryan on Newt Gingrich

“I did not sext Anthony Weiner.”

-Ginger Lee


"Obama is the most successful food stamp president in American History.”

-Newt Gingrich

Best on-air exchange:


“Do you have a degree in economics?”

-Contessa Brewer to Congressman Mo Brooks

“Yes mam, I do. Highest honors.”

-Mo Brooks to Contessa Brewer

“This would be easier if I could do this on my own.”

-Barack Obama wishing he were dictator?

"This economic mandate represents a wholly novel and potentially unbounded assertion of congressional authority: the ability to compel Americans to purchase an expensive health insurance product they have elected not to buy, and to make them re-purchase that insurance product every month for their entire lives."

-11th Circuit Court on Obamacare’s Individual Mandate

"Socrates taught that wisdom begins in the recognition of how little we know. Mr. Obama is perpetually intent on telling us how much he knows. Aristotle wrote that the type of intelligence most needed in politics is prudence, which in turn requires experience. Mr. Obama came to office with no experience. Plutarch warned that flattery "makes itself an obstacle and pestilence to great houses and great affairs." Today's White House, more so than any in memory, is stuffed with flatterers.”

“Stupid is as stupid does, said the great philosopher Forrest Gump. The presidency of Barack Obama is a case study in stupid does.”

-Bret Stephens WSJ

"POTUS has played more golf this month than I have: I have created more jobs this month than he has.”

-Professional Golfer Paul Azinger

“It's deeply bizarre and deeply creepy.”

-State Department Victoria Nuland on Moammar Gadhafi’s obsession with Condi Rice

“My neighbor’s two dogs have created more shovel-ready projects than this current administration.”

-Former N.M. Governor Gary Johnson on the Stimulus

"We’re the country that built the Intercontinental Railroad."

-Barack Obama (he meant transcontinental).

“If asking a billionaire to pay the same tax rate as a Jew, uh, as a janitor makes me a warrior for the working class, I wear that with a badge of honor. I have no problem with that.”

-Barack Obama confusing Jews and Janitors

"I think we ought to suspend, perhaps, elections for Congress for two years and just tell them we won't hold it against them, whatever decisions they make, to just let them help this country recover."

-Governor Bev Perdue

OBAMA: "I can see the unemployment line from my house!"

-Ann Coulter

'President Obama, This Is Your Army. We Are Ready to March. Let's Take These Son of Bitches Out'

-James Hoffa

"Murder will continue to rise. Rape will continue to rise. All crime will continue to rise."

-Joe Biden on what would happen if the Jobs Bill fails

“We want sweeping unspecified change.”

- A sign in the Occupy Wall Street protests

“I left the Democratic plantation a long time ago.”

-Herman Cain

"After nearly nine years, America's war in Iraq will be over."

-Barack Obama

“All my people love me.”

-Moamer Gadhafi

“Do you know right from wrong?”

-Moammar Khadafy (last words)

“We came. We saw. He died.”

-Hillary Clinton celebrating Khadafy’s death

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Douche Bag of the Year (2011)

Been a good year for Douche Bags…Here are the nominees for Douche Bag of the Year for 2011...

Casey Antony & other baby killers: There seemed to be an inordinate amount of people suspected of murdering their children. Casey Anthony became the poster child for this lot. In her case, another stupid jury decided to acquit as opposed to use common sense. The Anthony Jury’s infamy ranks with the O.J, Michael Jackson, and Robert Blake juries.

Charlie Sheen: ‘nuf said.

Herman Cain: Cain served as a lesson to those looking to run for presidency without really expecting to win.

Kim Kardashian: A total waste of space.

Barack Obama: Entering the fourth year of a failed presidency, Obama decides to attack Washington and engage in bigoted class warfare…even though he’s been part of the Washington establishment for a decade. He is no longer interested in governing.

Occupy Wall Street: A vacuous movement that has railed against capitalism and big banks. While most can sympathize with the attacks on banks, the movement has engaged in a number of crimes and vandalism leading to over 5000 arrests.

Justin Bieber: Is his 15 minutes up yet?

Donald Trump: The term media whore applies here.

Eric Holder: Holder sues Arizona while shipping guns to Mexican drug cartels. He absolves voter intimidation in 2008 while attacking states for trying to ensure people’s voting rights.

Ashton Kutcher: Not quite Charlie Sheen, but he did replace him on TV.

The NBA: Anyone notice the lockout?

The Philadelphia Eagles: They dubbed themselves the Dream team…hubris.

Pedophiles in sports: Penn State, Bill Conlin, & Syracuse all had their own scandals involving underage abuse.

Congress: Osama Bin Laden may be more popular than Congress.

and the winner: Casey Anthony

Former winners: Reality TV people (2009), LeBron James (2010)

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Quotes of the Month: November 2011

Quote of the Month:

"If we were trying to run a regular offense, he'd be screwed."

-Broncos coach John Fox on Tim Tebow

Stupid Quote of the Month:


“We’ve been a little lazy over the last couple of decades.”

-Barack Obama

And the rest:

“So if you win, you suddenly produce what sounds like 1984 from their brief."

-Stephen Breyer

"It’s not gonna happen.”

-Jorge Posada on his returning to the Yanks

“This is a tragedy. It is one of the great sorrows of my life. With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more.”

-Joe Paterno

"How can you pick against SMU? Look at that one there — red, white and blue. [Picks up SMU megaphone] U-S-A! … Ah, f___ it!

-Leo Corso on College GameDay

“Go get a job right after you take a bath.”

-Newt Gingrich to OWS

“I’m a devout Catholic and I honor my faith and love it . . . but they have this conscience thing.”

-Nancy Pelosi

“What the hell are we paying you for?”

-Chris Christie to President Obama

"Unfortunately, we at www.elviscostello.com find ourselves unable to recommend this lovely item to you as the price appears to be either a misprint or a satire."

-Elvis Costello to his fans

"We have to do an assessment as to whether or not this is going to create too much of a cloud, in some people's minds, as to whether or not they would be able to support us going forth."

-Herman Cain

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Barack Obama: The Motion Picture

So who would star in an Obama biopic?

Barack Obama: Will Smith

Michelle Obama: Aunt Esther

Hillary Clinton: Glenn Close

Joe Biden: Homer Simpson

Robert Gibbs: Peter Griffin

Harry Reid: Will Ferrell

Steny Hoyer: John C Reilly

Nancy Pelosi: The Wicked Witch of the West

Robert Gates: Chris Cooper

John Boehner: George Hamilton

Mitch McConnell: Constable Odo

Janet Napolitano: Rex Ryan

Tim Geithner: Larry David

Eric Holder: Ron Artest

Rahm Emmanuel: Steve Buscemi

Sheriff Joe Arpaio: Shaquille O’Neal

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: Hart Bochner (Die Hard)

Hugo Chavez: Edward James Olmos

Vladimir Putin: Himself

Grady: Greg Oden

The Savior: Tim Tebow

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Douce Bag of the Year-2010

Usually around Thanksgiving, media types unveil their turkeys of the year. I am doing the same thing...just using a more descriptive term.

Last year's winners: The Balloon Boy's family and the White House Party Crashers.

This year's nominees (in no particular order):

Nancy Pelosi: The House speaker destroyed her party with extreme policies and does not understand why people rejected her. Rather than gracefully resign, she has returned to continue her crusade against America.

LeBron James: The decision, the betrayal, the retarded Nike ad, his Miami fashion show-like debut, the feud with his former boss, and Miami's slow start make LeBron one of the favorites this year.

Julian Assange: This narcissist may get someone killed. Of course, he's already been accused with rape. I always believed he more resembled a pedophile.

Tony Heyward: America's friend from BP. The only thing worse than Heyward's behavior during the oil spill was Obama's!

Westboro Baptist Church: These guys are beyond douche bags.

California Voters: Barbara Boxer is the worst member of the U.S. Senate. Jerry Brown is vacuous. Californians elected both of them. Who's the bigger fool, the fool or the fool who follows it?

Miami Heat Fans: Despite having a super-team, Heat fans can not be bothered to attend games.

The Barefoot Bandit: What a turd.

Mel Gibson: 'nuf said.

Paul Krugman: This douche advocates massive government spending to stimulate the economy. In 5,000 years of human history, this has NEVER worked to create sustained growth. All it does is deplete treasuries, increase taxes, and create a very angry citizenry. He knows that. 

and the winner: LeBron James

Monday, May 18, 2009

Assorted Ramblings

Item: Protesters meet Barack Obama at Notre Dame

Thoughts: First, the Tea Parties and now this? Conservative protesters strike twice in one year? These are two different groups of conservatives. The Tea Protesters were concerned about ridiculous spending and high taxation. Notre Dame was a social conservative event. Either way, something might be afoot and it's at the grass roots level. This is not a top down movement right now. If Conservatives are protesting, are the 60s not far behind?

Item: Nancy Pelosi has been lying about the CIA.

Thoughts: She is in deep trouble. First, she has po'd the bureaucrats, and they protect their own. Second, her speakership is in danger. Third, this could distract the congress for months. Last, her resignation would be the best thing for the country. She's too loony to be speaker.

Item: Dick Cheney won't go away.

Thoughts: If the GOP was able to get a message out, he could retire!

Item: My house has lost $100,000 in value.

Thoughts: ouch!

Item: Star Trek made lots of money at the box office.

Thoughts: Amazing what hype can do. In one weekend, this film doubled the entire take for the last film. That one did not have the ad campaign and was up against Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Fun in the Florida Sun: The 2000 Election

Al Gore was in a quandary. Does he use Bill Clinton to help his campaign or does he run and hide from the president? Clinton was popular amongst Democrats and was seen as the savior of the party. On the other hand, Republicans and Independents viewed him as a self indulgent man child. After easily defeating Bill Bradley for the Democratic nomination, Gore decided to turn his back on his president.
George W. Bush had problems of his own. He had the pesky John McCain to deal with. After a bitter campaign that left wounds that still exist today, Bush beat “The Straight Talk Express.” Bush campaigned as a “Compassionate Conservative.” The moniker was designed to draw a contrast between himself and the Newt Gingrich wing of the party. The term reinforced his conservative credentials and his reform message. Bush promised to restore dignity to the White House. Meanwhile, Gore was running from Monica’s messy dress. Gore decided to make a hard left. He ran a populist campaign. The Veep bragged he was for the people and not the powerful at the same time Bush promised to lead and make hard decisions as opposed to dodging them. Both campaigns were taking swipes at Clinton.
Each man made interesting choices for Vice President. Gore chose moderate Senator Joe Lieberman from Connecticut. Lieberman was well respected and liked by both sides. Bush selected the then-well respected Dick Cheney for his #2. Cheney served as the Defense Secretary under Bush 41 and had loads of experience. Lieberman would balance Gore’s liberalism while Cheney would balance Bush’s lack of foreign policy and Washington experience.
The two Vice Presidential candidates performed well on the stump and during the debates. Meanwhile, the Presidential debates opened a gash Gore could not patch up. During the first debate, he sighed impatiently whenever Governor Bush spoke. During another debate, Gore wore so much make-up, he looked like a drag queen.
Gore’s populist message combined with his debate performances and occasional delusional gaffe (I took the initiative and created the internet) cost Gore the election, but it was close. Bush held a 5 point lead going into the final weekend when word of a DUI back in the 1970s came out. On election day, Bush won 30 states, but Gore won the popular vote by a smidge. Had Gore run a better campaign, he could have won a triumph similar to George HW Bush’s in 1988. Instead, the election was a draw that came down to Florida.
The media declared Florida for Gore and then retracted when they discovered the panhandle was still voting. Then, they declared for Bush. Then, they undeclared everything. Gore conceded at first. Then, he changed his mind and un-conceded. This led to a recount.
After the recount, Bush won, but the Democrats wanted another one. Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris tried to certify for Bush, but the case ended up in court. The Florida Supreme Court ignored election law and ordered another recount. Bush continually won the recounts being held in Democratic precincts. For some reason, the recounts only occurred in Democratic precincts and not all of Florida. Eventually, the case went to the U.S. Supreme Court. In a 5-4 decision, the Supremes ordered an end to the recount. Bush won and Gore conceded again.
The Democrats could not win in 2000. The Florida Legislature was going to send results for Bush to the US Congress. If the Democrats had cast enough votes for Gore after the fact, the US Congress would have had two sets of returns. The Republicans controlled the House of Representatives and would have certified for Bush. The only reason for the Democrats to contest Florida and demand recounts in Democratic only areas was to injure Bush before he assumed office in the hopes of creating a lame duck. They failed. After the election, Gore would become the world’s savior. John McCain would finally become the GOP nominee for president. Joe Lieberman was expelled from the Democratic Party for making too much sense. Dick Cheney became the most unpopular governmental figure ever...at least until Nancy Pelosi became speaker!