Sports Quotes of the Year: 2013

Quote of the Year: “This is our [expletive] city, and nobody is going to dictate our freedom. Stay strong.”

-Boston Red Sox player David Ortiz after the terror attack on the Boston Marathon

Slam of the Year: “Proud of my husband and the Pats. By the way, if anyone is bored, please go to Ray Lewis’ Wikipedia page. 6 kids 4 wives. Acquitted for murder. Paid a family off. Yay. What a hall of fame player! A true role model!”

-ANNA BURNS WELKER

“This will be my last ride.”

-Ray Lewis announcing his retirement

"If you had to pick between the two, that would be a tough choice, but five beats one every time I look at it."

-Michael Jordan on the question of LeBron vs Kobe

 “I’m a 34-year-old NBA center. I’m black. And I’m gay.”

-JASON COLLINS

"I don’t usually worry about someone’s personal hygiene."

 -Jim Leyland

"I picked the wrong vice. I should have picked alcohol. I should have picked drugs or I should have picked up beating up my wife or girlfriend because if you do those three, you get a second chance."

-PETE ROSE

"Bud Selig is trying to alter his legacy from the commissioner who tacitly condoned steroids to the one who tried to stamp them out."

-Bob Wojonowski Detroit News

"The only thing the HOF will let me in for is to use the restroom."

-Todd Jones

"He [Jay Z] got him a big raise, but he got him an extra 30-day vacation -- and it’s called October."

-Pete Rose on Robinson Cano

 

Political Quotes of the Year: 2013

Quote of the Year: “Go fuck yourself.”

-John Boehner to Harry Reid

And

“I was all for Obamacare until I found out I was paying for it."

-Young Woman quoted in an LA Times story that saw her premiums increase 50%

Stupid Quote of the Year: “We have to break through our kind of private idea that kids belong to their parents or kids belong to their families and recognize that kids belong to whole communities.”

 -Melissa Harris-Perry on MSNBC

Lie of the Year: “If you like your plan, you can keep your plan. Period.”

-Barack Obama

Slam of the Year: "Sadly, Harry Reid has again revealed himself to be an idiot, this time gravely insulting Gulf Coast residents."

-Senator David Vitter

 “What difference does it make?”

-Hillary Clinton on Benghazi

 “The people of New Orleans and that area, they were hurt, but nothing in comparison to what happened to the people in New York and New Jersey.”

-Senator Harry Reid

"Spread your legs, you’re gonna be frisked.”

-Joe Biden to Senator Heidi Heitkamp

 “I’m proud to be President of the United States.”

-Joe Biden

“Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law.”

-Barack Obama

"Death panels and sales taxes is how we do this."

-Paul Krugman

“I will speak until I can no longer speak.”

-Rand Paul beginning a marathon old school filibuster

"It's not Detroit versus Michigan. It's Detroit, Michigan."

 -GOVERNOR RICK SNYDER

"The biggest problem with Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac is that they are financial institutions with a social mission,"

-Tom Schatz, president of Citizens Against Government Waste.

"There was a time in my life when I wasn't likely to be found at a library, much less found one."

 -George W Bush

“I’m not the same Muslim Socialist I used to be.”

-Barack Obama

"The truth of the matter is, Barack knows it, I know, had the economy not collapsed around your ears, John, in the middle of literally--as things were moving--I think you probably would have won.”

-Joe Biden

"The law is irrelevant."

 -Obama spokesman Dan Pfeiffer

"I've heard more from Bush, asking for my advice, than I've heard from Obama," Klein stated from various sources close to the Obama administration. "I have no relationship with the president -- none whatsoever. Obama doesn't know how to be president. He doesn't know how the world works. He's incompetent. He's an amateur!"

-Bill Clinton

“The IRS has ruled Obama can write off the first half of his second term as a total loss.”

-Jay Leno

"Trayvon Martin could have been me 35 years ago."

-Barack Obama (Martin was not raised by rich white parents)

“The only racism on that night was perpetrated by Trayvon Martin, and everybody knows it."

-Ted Nugent

“Enough was enough.”

-Governor Rick Snyder on Detroit

"Federal Election Commission can't do anything about it; they want the IRS to fix the problem. 'So everybody is screaming at us right now, 'Fix it now before the election. Can't you see how much these people are spending?'"

-Lois Lerner on Tea Party Groups

"The indiscriminate slaughter of civilians, the killing of women and children and innocent bystanders by chemical weapons is a moral obscenity."

-John Kerry

"I'll tell you the difference with Green Eggs and Ham is when Americans tried it, they discovered they did not like green eggs and ham and they did not like Obamacare either. They did not like Obamacare in a box with a fox, in a house or with a mouse."

-Senator Ted Cruz

 “Why would we want to help one kid with cancer?”

-Harry Reid

 “We’ve been told to make life as difficult for people as we can. It’s disgusting.”

-Park Ranger on his orders from the White House

“How can we tax people for not buying a product from a website that doesn't work?”

-John Boehner

"You know Obamacare is really I think the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery."

-Dr. Ben Carson

“This is not a historic agreement, it’s a historic mistake.”

-Benjamin Netanyahu

"It's fascinating to me that some of the pushback is coming from, sort of, white suburban moms who -- all of a sudden -- their child isn't as brilliant as they thought they were and their school isn't quite as good as they thought they were, and that's pretty scary."

-Arne Duncan

"Probably in one of my drunken stupors, probably approximately about a year ago."

-Toronto Mayor Rob Ford on when he tried crack cocaine.

"Honor the commitment the federal government made to those people and let them keep what they got."

-Bill Clinton to Barack Obama

“We thought he was going to be the next Messiah.”

-Barbara Walters on Barack Obama

“Embrace the suck.”

-Nancy Pelosi

"This isn't a wrinkle, it's a trainwreck."

-Charles Krauthammer on Obamacare

"I think I just became the first president to ever publicly mention Area 51."

-Barack Obama

"I think they're misleading their followers. I think they're pushing our members in places where they don't want to be. And frankly, I just think that they've lost all credibility by opposing legislation before the details are known."

-John Boehner

Quotes of the Year: 2013

Quote of the Year: "If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?"

-Francis I

Dumb Quote of the Year: ““She is older than her chronological age” she was ”as much in control of the situation.”

-Judge G. Todd Baugh on a 14-year-old rape victim

Slam of the Year: "He’s about as mean as a (expletive) kitten, I think he doesn’t realize he’s white and not black, that’s a huge problem."

-Sharon Osbourne on Justin Bieber

“It’s like Django unchained! It’s exciting!”

-Marc Lamont Hill on spree killer Christopher Dorner

"I am the father of the destruction of Western civilization"

-Jerry Springer

“I snorted half of Peru.”

-Steven Tyler

"Strength of mind and body are necessary, strength which in the last few months has deteriorated in me to the extent that I have had to recognize my incapacity to adequately fulfill the ministry entrusted to me.”

-Pope Benedict XVI

 “Please don’t let me die.”

-Hugo Chavez

'I would like to see a church that is poor and is for the poor'

 -Pope Francis I

"American popular music is our only art form. It's our most important export, period. And since time began, it's been handled not as an art form but as a commodity.”

-Huey Lewis

“I was 'abducted by aliens' in the desert two weeks ago.”

-Baron Davis

 “I am the shooter.”

-Nidal Hassan

"A socialist egalitarian system based on the massive redistribution of wealth, heavy taxation of corporations and massive responsibility for energy companies and any companies exploiting the environment. I think the very concept of profit should be hugely reduced. David Cameron says profit isn't a dirty word, well I say profit is a filthy word." 

-Russell Brand

"It seems like, to me, a vagina -- as a man -- would be more desirable than a man's anus."

-Phil Robertson

"Oh, this is ridiculous. Yet another person claiming it's racist to have a white Santa.’ And by the way, for all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white."

-Megyn Kelly

Quotes of the Month: December 2013

Quote of the Moment:

“We thought he was going to be the next Messiah.”

-Barbara Walters on Barack Obama

Stupid Quotes of the Month:

“I am a proud non-reader of books. I like to get information from doing stuff like actually talking to people and living real life.”

- Kanye West

And

"It seems like, to me, a vagina -- as a man -- would be more desirable than a man's anus."

-Phil Robertson

Slam of the Month:

"He [Jay Z] got him a big raise, but he got him an extra 30-day vacation -- and it’s called October."

-Pete Rose on Robinson Cano

And the rest:

“Obama’s tardy epiphanies do not temper his enthusiasm for giving sauropod government ever-deeper penetration into society. He thinks this serves equality. Actually, big government inevitably drives an upward distribution of wealth to those whose wealth, confidence and sophistication enable them to manipulate government."

-George Will

“Embrace the suck.”

-Nancy Pelosi

"This isn't a wrinkle, it's a trainwreck."

-Charles Krauthammer on Obamacare

"Oh, this is ridiculous. Yet another person claiming it's racist to have a white Santa.’ And by the way, for all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white."

-Megyn Kelly

 "I think I just became the first president to ever publicly mention Area 51."

-Barack Obama

"I think they're misleading their followers. I think they're pushing our members in places where they don't want to be. And frankly, I just think that they've lost all credibility by opposing legislation before the details are known."

-John Boehner

“I hate how the LGBT community says it’s all about ‘love’ and ‘equality,’” she continued. “However, if you don’t agree with their lifestyle, they spread the most hate. It is so hypocritical it makes my stomach turn. They need to learn how to respect others’ opinions and not just jump to the conclusion that everyone who doesn’t support homosexuality and gay marriage is homophobic.”

-Bristol Palin

 

Person of the Year 2013

Person of the Year: Mariano Rivera : Style and grace. He went out on top.

and the rest...

2. Vladimir Putin : He completely manhandled an overmatched Barack Obama, reinserted Russia into the Middle East after four decades, and somehow became a Nobel Peace Prize candidate (thanks to Barry).

3. Pope Francis I : The dude was a bouncer.

4. Edward Snowden: How he released the info makes him a douche bag and quite frankly, he's a tool, but the Obama spy program goes too far.

5. Prince George of Cambridge : Most likely, George will be the first monarch of the 22nd century. 

and the rest... 

Chris Christie

Batkid

Grumpy Cat

Brian Griffin  (RIP)

Ray Lewis

Megyn Kelly

Previous winners: Miguel Cabrera (2012), Justin Verlander (2011), Drew Brees (2010), Leonard Nimoy (2009), Barack Obama (2008), Al Gore (2007), Rahm Emmanuel (2006)

Quotes of the Month: November 2013

Quotes of the Month: “This is not a historic agreement, it’s a historic mistake.”

-Benjamin Netanyahu

And

"The only thing the HOF will let me in for is to use the restroom."

-Todd Jones

Dumb Quotes of the Month:

"It's fascinating to me that some of the pushback is coming from, sort of, white suburban moms who -- all of a sudden -- their child isn't as brilliant as they thought they were and their school isn't quite as good as they thought they were, and that's pretty scary."

-Arne Duncan

And

"Probably in one of my drunken stupors, probably approximately about a year ago."

-Toronto Mayor Rob Ford on when he tried crack cocaine.

And the rest…

“He’s done the best he could under the circumstances. His major accomplishment was Obamacare, and the implementation of it now is questionable at best.”

-Jimmy Carter

"I know tonight, a dispirited America, angry with their dysfunctional government in Washington, looks to New Jersey to say,'Is what I think happening really happening? Are people really coming together. Are we really working, African-Americans and Hispanics, suburbanites and city dwellers, farmers and teachers. Are we really all working together.' Let me give the answer to everyone who is watching tonight: Under this government our first job is to get the job done and as long as I'm governor that job will always, always be finished."

-Chris Christie

“I am sorry that they are finding themselves in this situation based on assurances they got from me."

-Barack Obama

"Honor the commitment the federal government made to those people and let them keep what they got."

-Bill Clinton to Barack Obama

“Certain situations we just got outplayed, ……….and outcoached.”

-Ed Reed

"It is a rolling calamity that must be scrapped." 

-John Boehner

"I prefer a Church which is bruised, hurting and dirty because it has been out on the streets, rather than a Church which is unhealthy from being confined and from clinging to its own security."

Pope Francis I

Quotes of the Month: October 2013

Quote of the Month: "I was all for Obamacare until I found out I was paying for it."

-Young Woman quoted in an LA Times story that saw her premiums increase 50%

Dumb Quote of the Month: “Why would we want to help one kid with cancer?”

-Harry Reid

Lie of the Month: “If you like your plan, you can keep your plan. Period.”

-Barack Obama

And the rest:

 “We’ve been told to make life as difficult for people as we can. It’s disgusting.”

-Park Ranger on his orders from the White House

“How can we tax people for not buying a product from a website that doesn't work?”

-John Boehner

"You know Obamacare is really I think the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery."

-Dr. Ben Carson

"Biggest mistake I've ever made. Not that I would have won, but I probably would have and he wouldn't be in the White House."

-Mike Ditka on not challenging Obama in 2004.

You make the playoffs 11 times, and you’re out in the first round seven out of 11 times. You love to have the Star Wars numbers from Peyton and Marvin [Harrison] and Reggie [Wayne]. Mostly, you love [championships].”

-Colts Owner Jim Irsay on Peyton Manning

“I think the Borg exist on Earth in the guise of today’s liberal progressive socialists, i.e., the Democrat Party. As a matter of fact, we really should change the Democrat Party symbol from the donkey to the Borg. It’s far more meaningful. Or maybe not, after all donkeys and liberals make the same incessant noise.”

-Allen West

“Everybody else, including rich people, are willing to pay more. They want to pay more.”

-Harry Reid

"A socialist egalitarian system based on the massive redistribution of wealth, heavy taxation of corporations and massive responsibility for energy companies and any companies exploiting the environment. I think the very concept of profit should be hugely reduced. David Cameron says profit isn't a dirty word, well I say profit is a filthy word." 

-Russell Brand

Quotes of the Month: September 2013

Quote of the Month: "I'll tell you the difference with Green Eggs and Ham is when Americans tried it, they discovered they did not like green eggs and ham and they did not like Obamacare either. They did not like Obamacare in a box with a fox, in a house or with a mouse."

-Senator Ted Cruz

Stupid Quote of the Month: “She is older than her chronological age” she was ”as much in control of the situation.”

-Judge G. Todd Baugh on a 14-year-old rape victim

And the Rest…

"I would think the mayor of a city that recently experienced a deadly bombing attack would be more sensitive and not use the phrase 'blow up.'"

-Mayor Bing about the Mayor of Boston's comments about Detroit

"Some people could find a flaw in Bo Derek,”

-Jim Leyland on Max Scherzer’s idiotic critics

"And as RKK would say, if you're a turd, it's going to come back to you."

-Tom Brady on Johnny Manziel

"Let Allah sort it out."

-Sarah Palin on Syria

"Kerry can be forgiven for being at odds with the president. The president, in the space of his 16-minute address, was often at odds with himself... Nuance can sound a lot like a muddle."

-Dana Milbank

"This has been one of the most humiliating episodes in presidential history.”

-Anonymous Democratic Strategist on Obama’s Syria policy.

"If you don't comply, it is treason."

-Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer

“They see it as an act of provocative weakness on America's part.”

-Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham on Obama’s Syria deal

"It is extremely unrealistic, to presume that the peaceful nature of the nuclear program of Iran could be ensured through impeding the program via illegitimate pressures.”

-Iranian President Hassan Rowhani

“It’s on the president’s head, he’s got to lead, he’s got to talk.”

-Bob Woodward on the debt ceiling and failure of the CR

Quotes of the Month: August 2013

Quote of the Month: "I picked the wrong vice. I should have picked alcohol. I should have picked drugs or I should have picked up beating up my wife or girlfriend because if you do those three, you get a second chance."

-PETE ROSE

Dumb Quote of the Month: “The fact of the matter is we will be running on Obamacare in 2014. In fact, we set it up to run on it in 2014."

-JAMES CLYBURN

“I am not a monster.”

-Ariel Castro

"Bud Selig is trying to alter his legacy from the commissioner who tacitly condoned steroids to the one who tried to stamp them out."

-Bob Wojonowski Detroit News

"Not worth it at all."

-Mark McGwire on steroid usage

“I am the shooter.”

-Nidal Hassan

"Federal Election Commission can't do anything about it; they want the IRS to fix the problem. 'So everybody is screaming at us right now, 'Fix it now before the election. Can't you see how much these people are spending?'"

-Lois Lerner on Tea Party Groups

“First of all, you got to be a good liar, a good lowlife, and an imbecile. You gotta take steroids. You must take steroids! And anybody that takes steroids is a garbage pail.”

-John Gotti 1998 (tape recently released)

“the ACA as presently written could “destroy the foundation of the 40-hour work week that is the backbone of the middle class.”

-Labor Leaders on Obamacare

“If you do watch the Al-Jazzera America equivalent of "60 Minutes" and you hear a "Tick-Tick-Tick" sound from the TV, dive out of the room.”

-Dennis Miller

"The indiscriminate slaughter of civilians, the killing of women and children and innocent bystanders by chemical weapons is a moral obscenity."

-John Kerry

Quotes of the Month: July 2013

Quote of the Month: "He’s about as mean as a (expletive) kitten, I think he doesn’t realize he’s white and not black, that’s a huge problem."

-Sharon Osbourne on Justin Bieber

Bizarre Quote of the Month: “I was 'abducted by aliens' in the desert two weeks ago.”

-Baron Davis

Dumb Quote of the Month:

"Trayvon Martin could have been me 35 years ago."

-Barack Obama (Martin was not raised by rich white parents)

"We killed people who are rats, and the two biggest rats were sitting right next to me."

-Stephen "The Rifleman" Flemmi referring to Whitey Bulger

"We hope everyone can exercise their First Amendment right to free speech, then get tired and go home."

-LAPD Spokesman Andrew Smith on the Trayvon Martin protests

"I think he has more reason now than ever to think that people are trying to kill him because they express they're trying to kill him, all the time, every day, on my Twitter feed, on the Internet."

- Robert Zimmerman Jr.

The death of Trayvon Martin was a tragedy.  Not just for his family, or for any one community, but for America.  I know this case has elicited strong passions.  And in the wake of the verdict, I know those passions may be running even higher.  But we are a nation of laws, and a jury has spoken.  I now ask every American to respect the call for calm reflection from two parents who lost their young son.  And as we do, we should ask ourselves if we’re doing all we can to widen the circle of compassion and understanding in our own communities.  We should ask ourselves if we’re doing all we can to stem the tide of gun violence that claims too many lives across this country on a daily basis.  We should ask ourselves, as individuals and as a society, how we can prevent future tragedies like this.  As citizens, that’s a job for all of us.  That’s the way to honor Trayvon Martin.

-Obama

“And so it was for a few weeks until the race-baiting industry saw an opportunity to further the racist careers of Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, the Black Panthers. President Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder, et al, who then swept down on the Florida community refusing to admit that the 17-year-old dope smoking, racist gangsta wannabe Trayvon Martin was at all responsible for his bad decisions and standard modus operendi of always taking the violent route.”

“The only racism on that night was perpetrated by Trayvon Martin, and everybody knows it."

-Ted Nugent

"As a matter of fact, I think he’s a white racist god with a problem. More importantly, he is carrying a gun and stalking young black men.”

--University of Pennsylvania Professor Anthea Butler

 “Enough was enough.”

-Governor Rick Snyder on Detroit

"I have made some mistakes."

-Ryan Braun

“He said ‘I don’t give a fuck’ and meant it!”

-Lars Ulrich on Ritchie Blackmore

“...we discussed the fact that Ho Chi Minh was actually inspired by the U.S. Declaration of Independence and Constitution, and the words of Thomas Jefferson.”

-- President Obama talking to reporters alongside Vietnamese President Truong Tan Sang.

"If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?"

-Francis I

Quotes of the Month: June 2013

Quote of the Month: "It's like shearing a piglet: a lot of squealing and little wool."

-Vladimir Putin on Edward Snowden

Stupid Quote of the Month: "Alex should just shut the (expletive) up."

-Brian Cashman to Alex Rodriguez

And the rest…

"I've heard more from Bush, asking for my advice, than I've heard from Obama," Klein stated from various sources close to the Obama administration. "I have no relationship with the president -- none whatsoever. Obama doesn't know how to be president. He doesn't know how the world works. He's incompetent. He's an amateur!"

-Bill Clinton

Seizing phone records of millions of innocent people is excessive and un-American.”

-Representative Jim Sensenbrenner, Republican of Wisconsin and author of the Patriot Act

“Is it just me, or is secret blanket surveillance obscenely outrageous?”

-Al Gore

“I’m uhhh….people….oh goodness….uhhhh...folks are sweating back there right now.”

-Barack Obama when his staff forgot his speech

“I didn’t want to be pope.”

-Pope Francis I

“I will be made to suffer.”

-Edward Snowden: Self-identified NSA surveillance program leaker.

"I don’t usually worry about someone’s personal hygiene."

 -Jim Leyland

"I just blasted away."

-72-year-old Jan Cooper after shooting at an intruder at 12:30 A.M.

"If you refuse to act and you cause a calamity, the one thing you cannot say when all the eggs have been broken is, 'Oh my god, two years ago there was a poll that said 80 percent of you were against it, you look like a total fool."

-Bill Clinton on Obama’s handling of Syria

"So long as nuclear weapons exist, we are not truly safe."

-Barack Obama

“The IRS has ruled Obama can write off the first half of his second term as a total loss.”

-Jay Leno

"American popular music is our only art form. It's our most important export, period. And since time began, it's been handled not as an art form but as a commodity.”

-Huey Lewis.

 “I’m not going to be scrambling jets to get a 29-year-old hacker”

-Barack Obama