Quotes of the Month: April 2016

Quotes of the Month: “I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”
“Lucifer in the flesh.”
-John Boehner on Ted Cruz

Stupid Quote of the Month: "It's very close to my heart because I was down there, and I watched our police and our firemen down at 7/11, down at the World Trade Center right after it came down, and I saw the greatest people I've ever seen in action.”
-Donald Trump

And the rest...
"The American people have not just parachuted into the Valley of the Stupid."
-Dan Rather

“I don’t know how you would characterize the gang leaders who got 13-year-old kids hopped up on crack and sent them out on the street to murder other African-American children. Maybe you thought they were good citizens. She didn’t…You are defending the people who kill the people whose lives you say matter!”
-Bill Clinton

""It sounds so good, just shoot every third person on Wall Street and everything will be fine."
-Bill Clinton

"The shame sticks to you like tar."
-Monica Lewinsky

"I hate Ted Cruz, and I think I'll take cyanide if he even got the nomination.”
-Peter King

“Save your prayers for a couple of days.”
-Prince

"This is all about racial politics. I’m a white lady. I’m an easy target."
-Former Mizzou Prof Melissa Click

Quotes of the Month: September 2015

Quote of the Month: “We don’t need an apprentice in the White House. We have one right now.”
-Scott Walker

Stupid Quote of the Month: "LGBT community (GGGG) are like the gay white KKK's. Get them some pink hoods and unicorns and let them rally down rodeo drive."
-Azealia Banks

and the rest...
"I have signed the pledge."
-Donald Trump

"I'm sorry about that."
-Hillary Clinton on the email scandal

"If you vote to send billions of dollars to jihadists who have pledged to bear direct responsibility to murder Americans, then you bear direct responsibility for the murders carried out with the dollars you have given them. You cannot wash your hands of that blood."
-Ted Cruz on the Iran deal

"Four years ago, I made a serious mistake — one that brought discredit on me and pain to those closest to me."
-David Petraeus

"Call off your fucking dogs Barack."
-Hillary Clinton

"It's become clear to me that this prolonged leadership turmoil would do irreparable harm to the institution."
-John Boehner

"Beware of false prophets."
-John Boehner


"It won't happen again."
-Barack Obama on Chinese hacks

“Seventy years after the murder of 6 million Jews, Iran’s rulers promise to destroy my country, murder my people, and the response from this body, the response from nearly every one of the governments represented here has been absolutely nothing. Utter silence. Deafening silence.” .
-Benjamin Netanyahu

"Everybody thought Hillary Clinton was unbeatable, right? But we put together a Benghazi special committee, a select committee. What are her numbers today? Her numbers are dropping. Why? Because she's untrustable. But no one would have known any of that had happened had we not fought."
-Kevin McCarthy

 "I'll keep going as long as I'm physically able."
-Daniel Craig

Quotes of the Month: January 2015

Quote of the Month: "Je suis Charlie"


Stupid Quote of the Month: "We were taught snipers were cowards. Will shoot u in the back. Snipers aren't heroes. "

-Michael Moore


And the Rest...
"As I write this, it is not clear that I will ever play guitar again."

-Bono

"Congratulations to the president for turning a two year recession into a six year one."

-Kimberly Gilfoyle

"You have to be careful about drinking around me."

-Bill Cosby

"I hear the sound of time roaring past me, and there is no time to lose. "

-Robert Plant

"Pussy Nation."

-Bill Maher on American Progressives

"What we've said all along, and have been called bigots for it, is when there's this many bad apples, there's something wrong with the orchard."


Bill Maher on Islam

 "The Prophet is avenged."

-Charlie Hebdo terrorists

"Well, this is surreal. I am completely knocked out. Thank you to the Academy for this incredible honor. I am very proud and lucky to be a part of Birdman and can't believe it came to this. I am so fucking excited. Are you allowed to say fuck when you're making a statement for the Oscars? I'm just really fucking excited."

-Emma Stone

"Some think that, excuse me if I use that word, that in order to be good Catholics, we have to be like rabbits. No. Responsible parenthood."

-Pope Francis I

"I have no more campaigns to run. ... I know because I won both of them"

-Barack Obama being a dickhead

"I was in The Tea Party before there was a Tea Party."


-John Boehner

"To state the obvious, the past six years have been really, really hard for this country."


-Joe Biden

"Get out of here, you low-life scum."


-John McCain to Code Pink protesters trying to arrest Henry Kissinger

Quotes of the Month: December 2014

Quote of the Month: "If I'm dead do I still have to pay taxes?


-Axl Rose on rumors of his death

Stupid Quote of the Month: "What do we want? Dead Cops! When do we want it? Now!"


-Protesters led by Al Sharpton

　

And the rest...
"This is an American problem. When anybody in this country is not being treated equally under the law, that's a problem. And it's my job as president to help solve it."


-Barack Obama
"The more the president talks about his ideas, the more unpopular he becomes. Why would I want to deprive him of that opportunity?"


-John Boehner
"Democrats in the Senate are behaving like tenants who got evicted and decide to trash the house on their way out the door."


-KT McFarland
‘Your country will turn on you. The liberal media will turn on you. The people will grow tired of this. They will turn on you – and when they do, you are going to be abandoned.’"


-Khalid Sheik Mohammad to his captors
"Today is the worst day of My life. RIP Dad"


- Jaden Ramos
"We had 50 years of white Bonds because Bond is white. Bond was never black. Ian

Fleming never created a black Brit to play James Bond. The character was always

white. He was always Scottish. He always drank vodka shaken not stirred and all

that."


-Rush Limbaugh

Quotes of the Month: June 2014

Quote of the Month: "Mr. President, you love to trade people. Why don’t we set up a trade? But this time, instead of five Taliban, how about five Democrats? I’m thinking John Kerry, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi; couldn’t we send them to Mexico? "It was a joke. Except for Nancy Pelosi, I was serious about her."

-Rand Paul

　
Stupid Quote of the Month: "We need to consider whether we can talk about trying to reduce population growth and whether that’s compatible with the very reasonable concerns people have about women’s right to control their life decisions and their reproduction."


-Professor Peter Singer on controlling women to stop climate change.

　

and the rest...
"We all say stupid stuff when we're mad."

-David Price on David Ortiz

"There were times—there are still times—when I turn on the TV and I wish they'd just beheaded him on TV and gotten it over with."


-One of Sgt. Bergdal's would-be rescuers
"You see that there's that unfortunate bubble in the White House where they are too often isolated on something like this."


-Bob Woodward on The Obama Administration
"They [the Obama administration] have no idea what they actually did. Even those of us who might grudgingly accept the cost of that swap would understand that this is a defeat for the United States."

–Charles Krauthammer

"But there will be hell to pay if we find they go on to kill Americans."


-Senator Mark Kirk
"Where’s the dishonesty in the portrayal of Bergdahl so far? I haven’t seen it. What’s been misconstrued about him so far?"


-Chris Matthews
"If [President Obama] just tried to empty that jail, people would be calling for his impeachment,"

-Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C.

"This is the coward's way out, in my opinion."


-Owner of California Chrome on his competition not running in the Kentucky Derby
"We came out of the White House not only dead broke, but in debt."


-Hillary Clinton
"Rarely has a U.S. President been so wrong about so much at the expense of so many."


-Dick Cheney
'History has proven that you got it wrong in Iraq'


-Megyn Kelly to Dick Cheney
"I don't believe you."


-Paul Ryan to the IRS Commissioner
"I hate that man Obama more than any man I've ever met, more than any man who ever lived."


-Bill Clinton
"Not only does the president regularly ignore the law, he brags about it and brags about his willingness to change it unilaterally."


-John Boehner

Political Quotes of the Year: 2013

Quote of the Year: “Go fuck yourself.”

-John Boehner to Harry Reid

And

“I was all for Obamacare until I found out I was paying for it."

-Young Woman quoted in an LA Times story that saw her premiums increase 50%

Stupid Quote of the Year: “We have to break through our kind of private idea that kids belong to their parents or kids belong to their families and recognize that kids belong to whole communities.”

 -Melissa Harris-Perry on MSNBC

Lie of the Year: “If you like your plan, you can keep your plan. Period.”

-Barack Obama

Slam of the Year: "Sadly, Harry Reid has again revealed himself to be an idiot, this time gravely insulting Gulf Coast residents."

-Senator David Vitter

 “What difference does it make?”

-Hillary Clinton on Benghazi

 “The people of New Orleans and that area, they were hurt, but nothing in comparison to what happened to the people in New York and New Jersey.”

-Senator Harry Reid

"Spread your legs, you’re gonna be frisked.”

-Joe Biden to Senator Heidi Heitkamp

 “I’m proud to be President of the United States.”

-Joe Biden

“Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law.”

-Barack Obama

"Death panels and sales taxes is how we do this."

-Paul Krugman

“I will speak until I can no longer speak.”

-Rand Paul beginning a marathon old school filibuster

"It's not Detroit versus Michigan. It's Detroit, Michigan."

 -GOVERNOR RICK SNYDER

"The biggest problem with Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac is that they are financial institutions with a social mission,"

-Tom Schatz, president of Citizens Against Government Waste.

"There was a time in my life when I wasn't likely to be found at a library, much less found one."

 -George W Bush

“I’m not the same Muslim Socialist I used to be.”

-Barack Obama

"The truth of the matter is, Barack knows it, I know, had the economy not collapsed around your ears, John, in the middle of literally--as things were moving--I think you probably would have won.”

-Joe Biden

"The law is irrelevant."

 -Obama spokesman Dan Pfeiffer

"I've heard more from Bush, asking for my advice, than I've heard from Obama," Klein stated from various sources close to the Obama administration. "I have no relationship with the president -- none whatsoever. Obama doesn't know how to be president. He doesn't know how the world works. He's incompetent. He's an amateur!"

-Bill Clinton

“The IRS has ruled Obama can write off the first half of his second term as a total loss.”

-Jay Leno

"Trayvon Martin could have been me 35 years ago."

-Barack Obama (Martin was not raised by rich white parents)

“The only racism on that night was perpetrated by Trayvon Martin, and everybody knows it."

-Ted Nugent

“Enough was enough.”

-Governor Rick Snyder on Detroit

"Federal Election Commission can't do anything about it; they want the IRS to fix the problem. 'So everybody is screaming at us right now, 'Fix it now before the election. Can't you see how much these people are spending?'"

-Lois Lerner on Tea Party Groups

"The indiscriminate slaughter of civilians, the killing of women and children and innocent bystanders by chemical weapons is a moral obscenity."

-John Kerry

"I'll tell you the difference with Green Eggs and Ham is when Americans tried it, they discovered they did not like green eggs and ham and they did not like Obamacare either. They did not like Obamacare in a box with a fox, in a house or with a mouse."

-Senator Ted Cruz

 “Why would we want to help one kid with cancer?”

-Harry Reid

 “We’ve been told to make life as difficult for people as we can. It’s disgusting.”

-Park Ranger on his orders from the White House

“How can we tax people for not buying a product from a website that doesn't work?”

-John Boehner

"You know Obamacare is really I think the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery."

-Dr. Ben Carson

“This is not a historic agreement, it’s a historic mistake.”

-Benjamin Netanyahu

"It's fascinating to me that some of the pushback is coming from, sort of, white suburban moms who -- all of a sudden -- their child isn't as brilliant as they thought they were and their school isn't quite as good as they thought they were, and that's pretty scary."

-Arne Duncan

"Probably in one of my drunken stupors, probably approximately about a year ago."

-Toronto Mayor Rob Ford on when he tried crack cocaine.

"Honor the commitment the federal government made to those people and let them keep what they got."

-Bill Clinton to Barack Obama

“We thought he was going to be the next Messiah.”

-Barbara Walters on Barack Obama

“Embrace the suck.”

-Nancy Pelosi

"This isn't a wrinkle, it's a trainwreck."

-Charles Krauthammer on Obamacare

"I think I just became the first president to ever publicly mention Area 51."

-Barack Obama

"I think they're misleading their followers. I think they're pushing our members in places where they don't want to be. And frankly, I just think that they've lost all credibility by opposing legislation before the details are known."

-John Boehner

Quotes of the Month: December 2013

Quote of the Moment:

“We thought he was going to be the next Messiah.”

-Barbara Walters on Barack Obama

Stupid Quotes of the Month:

“I am a proud non-reader of books. I like to get information from doing stuff like actually talking to people and living real life.”

- Kanye West

And

"It seems like, to me, a vagina -- as a man -- would be more desirable than a man's anus."

-Phil Robertson

Slam of the Month:

"He [Jay Z] got him a big raise, but he got him an extra 30-day vacation -- and it’s called October."

-Pete Rose on Robinson Cano

And the rest:

“Obama’s tardy epiphanies do not temper his enthusiasm for giving sauropod government ever-deeper penetration into society. He thinks this serves equality. Actually, big government inevitably drives an upward distribution of wealth to those whose wealth, confidence and sophistication enable them to manipulate government."

-George Will

“Embrace the suck.”

-Nancy Pelosi

"This isn't a wrinkle, it's a trainwreck."

-Charles Krauthammer on Obamacare

"Oh, this is ridiculous. Yet another person claiming it's racist to have a white Santa.’ And by the way, for all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white."

-Megyn Kelly

 "I think I just became the first president to ever publicly mention Area 51."

-Barack Obama

"I think they're misleading their followers. I think they're pushing our members in places where they don't want to be. And frankly, I just think that they've lost all credibility by opposing legislation before the details are known."

-John Boehner

“I hate how the LGBT community says it’s all about ‘love’ and ‘equality,’” she continued. “However, if you don’t agree with their lifestyle, they spread the most hate. It is so hypocritical it makes my stomach turn. They need to learn how to respect others’ opinions and not just jump to the conclusion that everyone who doesn’t support homosexuality and gay marriage is homophobic.”

-Bristol Palin

 

Quotes of the Month: November 2013

Quotes of the Month: “This is not a historic agreement, it’s a historic mistake.”

-Benjamin Netanyahu

And

"The only thing the HOF will let me in for is to use the restroom."

-Todd Jones

Dumb Quotes of the Month:

"It's fascinating to me that some of the pushback is coming from, sort of, white suburban moms who -- all of a sudden -- their child isn't as brilliant as they thought they were and their school isn't quite as good as they thought they were, and that's pretty scary."

-Arne Duncan

And

"Probably in one of my drunken stupors, probably approximately about a year ago."

-Toronto Mayor Rob Ford on when he tried crack cocaine.

And the rest…

“He’s done the best he could under the circumstances. His major accomplishment was Obamacare, and the implementation of it now is questionable at best.”

-Jimmy Carter

"I know tonight, a dispirited America, angry with their dysfunctional government in Washington, looks to New Jersey to say,'Is what I think happening really happening? Are people really coming together. Are we really working, African-Americans and Hispanics, suburbanites and city dwellers, farmers and teachers. Are we really all working together.' Let me give the answer to everyone who is watching tonight: Under this government our first job is to get the job done and as long as I'm governor that job will always, always be finished."

-Chris Christie

“I am sorry that they are finding themselves in this situation based on assurances they got from me."

-Barack Obama

"Honor the commitment the federal government made to those people and let them keep what they got."

-Bill Clinton to Barack Obama

“Certain situations we just got outplayed, ……….and outcoached.”

-Ed Reed

"It is a rolling calamity that must be scrapped." 

-John Boehner

"I prefer a Church which is bruised, hurting and dirty because it has been out on the streets, rather than a Church which is unhealthy from being confined and from clinging to its own security."

Pope Francis I

Quotes of the Month: October 2013

Quote of the Month: "I was all for Obamacare until I found out I was paying for it."

-Young Woman quoted in an LA Times story that saw her premiums increase 50%

Dumb Quote of the Month: “Why would we want to help one kid with cancer?”

-Harry Reid

Lie of the Month: “If you like your plan, you can keep your plan. Period.”

-Barack Obama

And the rest:

 “We’ve been told to make life as difficult for people as we can. It’s disgusting.”

-Park Ranger on his orders from the White House

“How can we tax people for not buying a product from a website that doesn't work?”

-John Boehner

"You know Obamacare is really I think the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery."

-Dr. Ben Carson

"Biggest mistake I've ever made. Not that I would have won, but I probably would have and he wouldn't be in the White House."

-Mike Ditka on not challenging Obama in 2004.

You make the playoffs 11 times, and you’re out in the first round seven out of 11 times. You love to have the Star Wars numbers from Peyton and Marvin [Harrison] and Reggie [Wayne]. Mostly, you love [championships].”

-Colts Owner Jim Irsay on Peyton Manning

“I think the Borg exist on Earth in the guise of today’s liberal progressive socialists, i.e., the Democrat Party. As a matter of fact, we really should change the Democrat Party symbol from the donkey to the Borg. It’s far more meaningful. Or maybe not, after all donkeys and liberals make the same incessant noise.”

-Allen West

“Everybody else, including rich people, are willing to pay more. They want to pay more.”

-Harry Reid

"A socialist egalitarian system based on the massive redistribution of wealth, heavy taxation of corporations and massive responsibility for energy companies and any companies exploiting the environment. I think the very concept of profit should be hugely reduced. David Cameron says profit isn't a dirty word, well I say profit is a filthy word." 

-Russell Brand

Quotes of the Month: January 2013

Quote of the Month: “What difference does it make?”

-Hillary

Stupid Quote of the Month:

“The people of New Orleans and that area, they were hurt, but nothing in comparison to what happened to the people in New York and New Jersey.”

-Senator Harry Reid

And the rest:

"Sadly, Harry Reid has again revealed himself to be an idiot, this time gravely insulting Gulf Coast residents."

-Senator David Vitter

Go fuck yourself.

-John Boehner to Harry Reid

This will be my last ride.

-Ray Lewis announcing his retirement

"Spread your legs, you’re gonna be frisked.”

-Joe Biden to Senator Heidi Heitkamp

 “I’m proud to be President of the United States.”

-Joe Biden

“Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law.”

-Barack Obama

“Proud of my husband and the Pats. By the way, if anyone is bored, please go to Ray Lewis’ Wikipedia page. 6 kids 4 wives. Acquitted for murder. Paid a family off. Yay. What a hall of fame player! A true role model!”

 -ANNA BURNS WELKER

"If you want to keep people away during an earthquake,” he said, “buy some shotgun shells.”

 -JOE BIDEN

"If a Republican member of Congress is not punished on Fox News or by Rush Limbaugh for working with a Democrat on a bill of common interest, then you'll see more of them doing it."

 -BARACK OBAMA

"I am the father of the destruction of Western civilization"

-Jerry Springer

Quotes of the Month: November 2012

Quote of the Month:

"I remember when I went to the ownership meetings in Colorado in August, and I was walking back from dinner with Tony La Russa (retired Cardinals manager) and we're talking about statistics and about WAR. And, no offense to the player, but when I woke up that morning they had on the (ESPN.com) site that Darwin Barney that day was ranked ahead of Miguel Cabrera in WAR. And I don't mean anything against Darwin Barney, but there wasn't a person in Major League Baseball who on that particular day would have traded Miguel Cabrera for Darwin Barney. So, when people say WAR is all-encompassing, that loses the argument to me right there."

-Tigers GM Dave Dombrowski

Stupid Quote of the month:

“Thank God for Hurricane Sandy!”

-Chris Mathews

And the rest…

“All white folks are going to hell.”

-Rev Joseph Lowery

"There's never been a day in the last four years I've been proud to be his vice president."

-Joe Biden

 “Obamacare is the law of the land.”

-John Boehner

“Israel has opened the gates of hell.”

-Qassam Brigade

“I thought you were going to win, then the hurricane happened, and gave the president a chance to be presidential, and to look bipartisan.”

-Bill Clinton to Mitt Romney

“Our Lord and savior Barack Obama.”

-Jamie Foxx

Barack Obama: The Motion Picture

So who would star in an Obama biopic?

Barack Obama: Will Smith

Michelle Obama: Aunt Esther

Hillary Clinton: Glenn Close

Joe Biden: Homer Simpson

Robert Gibbs: Peter Griffin

Harry Reid: Will Ferrell

Steny Hoyer: John C Reilly

Nancy Pelosi: The Wicked Witch of the West

Robert Gates: Chris Cooper

John Boehner: George Hamilton

Mitch McConnell: Constable Odo

Janet Napolitano: Rex Ryan

Tim Geithner: Larry David

Eric Holder: Ron Artest

Rahm Emmanuel: Steve Buscemi

Sheriff Joe Arpaio: Shaquille O’Neal

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: Hart Bochner (Die Hard)

Hugo Chavez: Edward James Olmos

Vladimir Putin: Himself

Grady: Greg Oden

The Savior: Tim Tebow