Douche Bags of the Year 2012

It’s time for the annual Douche Bag of the Year Awards. So many douche bags this year….

Here are the nominees:

Barack Obama: He accused Romney of being a tax cheat, felon, and other slurs. Although re-elected, the Obama campaign was the sleaziest since 1828.

Mike Love: He fired the original Beach Boys.

Jeffrey Loria and Bud Selig: When will Selig’s reign of terror end? When will Loria’s? Loria should be banned for life.

Ozzie Guillen: Castro is a murderous thug.

Kristen Stewart: The great Trampire of 2012

The Kardashians: Please go away. The only one in that family that has ever done ANYTHING is Bruce Jenner.

Anonymous: Cyber attacks on countries defending themselves is immoral. The Palestinians are NOT victims.

Chris Mathews: He has lost his mind. Praising Hurricane Sandy? Really?

The Media: Worst demonstration of bias since the Soviet Union collapsed.

Austerity Protesters: You guys can cut now or have nothing later.

Mayor Bloomberg: The soda ban and performance during Sandy leave a lot to be desired.

Gary Betman: You might have killed the NHL. Congrats.

Sabermetrics community: You guys embarrassed yourselves during the MVP debate.

And the winners:

Jerry Sandusky/Joe Paterno/Penn State: ‘nuf said.

Previous winners: Reality TV people (2009), LeBron James (2010), Casey Anthony (2011)

Douche Bag of the Year (2011)

Been a good year for Douche Bags…Here are the nominees for Douche Bag of the Year for 2011...

Casey Antony & other baby killers: There seemed to be an inordinate amount of people suspected of murdering their children. Casey Anthony became the poster child for this lot. In her case, another stupid jury decided to acquit as opposed to use common sense. The Anthony Jury’s infamy ranks with the O.J, Michael Jackson, and Robert Blake juries.

Charlie Sheen: ‘nuf said.

Herman Cain: Cain served as a lesson to those looking to run for presidency without really expecting to win.

Kim Kardashian: A total waste of space.

Barack Obama: Entering the fourth year of a failed presidency, Obama decides to attack Washington and engage in bigoted class warfare…even though he’s been part of the Washington establishment for a decade. He is no longer interested in governing.

Occupy Wall Street: A vacuous movement that has railed against capitalism and big banks. While most can sympathize with the attacks on banks, the movement has engaged in a number of crimes and vandalism leading to over 5000 arrests.

Justin Bieber: Is his 15 minutes up yet?

Donald Trump: The term media whore applies here.

Eric Holder: Holder sues Arizona while shipping guns to Mexican drug cartels. He absolves voter intimidation in 2008 while attacking states for trying to ensure people’s voting rights.

Ashton Kutcher: Not quite Charlie Sheen, but he did replace him on TV.

The NBA: Anyone notice the lockout?

The Philadelphia Eagles: They dubbed themselves the Dream team…hubris.

Pedophiles in sports: Penn State, Bill Conlin, & Syracuse all had their own scandals involving underage abuse.

Congress: Osama Bin Laden may be more popular than Congress.

and the winner: Casey Anthony

Former winners: Reality TV people (2009), LeBron James (2010)

Quotes of the Month: November 2011

Quote of the Month:

"If we were trying to run a regular offense, he'd be screwed."

-Broncos coach John Fox on Tim Tebow

Stupid Quote of the Month:

“We’ve been a little lazy over the last couple of decades.”

-Barack Obama

And the rest:

“So if you win, you suddenly produce what sounds like 1984 from their brief."

-Stephen Breyer

"It’s not gonna happen.”

-Jorge Posada on his returning to the Yanks

“This is a tragedy. It is one of the great sorrows of my life. With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more.”

-Joe Paterno

"How can you pick against SMU? Look at that one there — red, white and blue. [Picks up SMU megaphone] U-S-A! … Ah, f___ it!

-Leo Corso on College GameDay

“Go get a job right after you take a bath.”

-Newt Gingrich to OWS

“I’m a devout Catholic and I honor my faith and love it . . . but they have this conscience thing.”

-Nancy Pelosi

“What the hell are we paying you for?”

-Chris Christie to President Obama

"Unfortunately, we at www.elviscostello.com find ourselves unable to recommend this lovely item to you as the price appears to be either a misprint or a satire."

-Elvis Costello to his fans

"We have to do an assessment as to whether or not this is going to create too much of a cloud, in some people's minds, as to whether or not they would be able to support us going forth."

-Herman Cain