Quotes of the Month: January 2016

Quote of the Month: "I’ve done my damage"
-Ahmed Best on Jar Jar Binks

Stupid Quote of the Month: “It’s unfortunate that the entire country is a racist country.”
-Danny DeVito

And the rest...
“This president is a petulant child. Now this president wants to act as if he’s a king, as if he’s a dictator."
-Chris Christie on Obama's executive action on guns

"He was smart, funny, curious and dedicated. We made a pact to give MASH all we had and it bonded us. I loved Wayne. I'll miss him very much."
-Alan Alda on Wayne Rogers

"It was all good until my eyelashes froze."
-Richard Sherman, on playing in sub-zero temperatures
 Right now, it feels as if the solar system
is off it’s axis, as if one of our
main planetary anchors has
lost it’s orbit. That said—I am
certain that wherever Bowie is
now—I want to be there someday.
—Michael Stipe

“I was born dead.”
-Charlie Sheen

"The bond we forged 45 years ago was never broken, even during the 14 years that the Eagles were dissolved, he said. "We were two young men who made the pilgrimage to Los Angeles with the same dream:  to make our mark in the music industry - and with perseverance, a deep love of music, our alliance with other great musicians and our manager, Irving Azoff, we built something that has lasted longer than anyone could have dreamed."
-Don Henley on Glen Frey

"Today the inevitable candidate doesn't look quite as inevitable as she did eight and a half months ago!"
-Bernie Sanders

"I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible."
-Donald Trump

Quotes of the Month: December 2015

Quote of the Month: "To me, especially in the Northeast, confronting my white privilege is going to the tanning salon."
-Katie Pavlich

Stupid Quote of the Month: “I sold them to the white slavers that takes these things, and…,”
-George Lucas on the sale of Star Wars to Disney

and the rest...

"Like I always say, the 2nd Amendment, the provision that gives every American the right to keep and bear arms, is blind and stupid."
-Geraldo

"This whole white privilege thing is indeed racist."
-Katie Pavlich

"She's killed hundreds of thousands of people with her stupidity."
-Donald Trump on Hillary

"In short, Mr. Rose has not presented credible evidence of a reconfigured life either by an honest acceptance by him of his wrongdoing, so clearly established by the Dowd Report, or by a rigorous, self-aware and sustained program of avoidance by him of all the circumstances that led to his permanent ineligibility in 1989. Absent such credible evidence, allowing him to work in the game presents an unacceptable risk of a future violation by him of Rule 21, and thus to the integrity of our sport. I, therefore, must reject Mr. Rose's application for reinstatement."
 -Rob Manfred

"This president won't be the same feckless weakling that we have in the Oval Office right now."
-Chris Christie

"Hillary Clinton has announced that she is letting her husband out to campaign but HE'S DEMONSTRATED A PENCHANT FOR SEXISM, so inappropriate."
-Donald Trump

“She was favored to win and she got schlonged."
-Donald Trump

Quotes of the Month: November 2015

Quote of the Month:"Hillary is running for a lot of reasons—one of ‘em is because she wants to stay out of jail."

-Donald Trump

Stupid Quote of the Month:"There's something different about what happened from Charlie Hebdo, and I think everybody would feel that. There was a sort of particularized focus and perhaps even a legitimacy in terms of -- not a legitimacy, but a rationale that you could attach yourself to somehow and say, okay, they're really angry because of this and that. This Friday was absolutely indiscriminate. It wasn't to aggrieve one particular sense of wrong. It was to terrorize people."
-John Kerry

And the rest...
"I have to call a murder a murder and I have to call the murderers the murderers.”
-Quentin Tarantino on police officers

"By every measure that we define success in this country this guy had it, great looking guy, well educated, great career, plenty of money, beautiful loving wife, beautiful children, great house, he had everything. He's a drug addict and he couldn't get help and he's dead."
-Chris  Christie
"For what you should never do: Don’t bite my teeth!”
-Rhonda Roussey
“Don’t be a slave like I was.”
-Carrie Fisher
"I don't really have any respect for anyone who thinks those films are good. They’re not. (They’re) a monumental misunderstanding of what the (original) three films are about. It's an exercise in utter infanticide ... (like) George Lucas killing his kid."
-Simon Pegg
"I don't think they're gaining strength. What is true, from the start our goal has been first to contain and we have contained them."
-Barack Obama one day before the Paris attacks
"Why can't we take out these bastards?"
-Reporter to Obama
"Our goal was to come in here and make the 'Red Rifle' look like a Red Ryder BB gun, and I think we did that.”
-JJ Watt on Andy Dalton
“The terrible events in Paris were obviously a terrible and sickening setback.”
-Barack Obama
"My heart can take the pounding, my mind can handle the grind, but my body knows it's time to say goodbye."
-Kobe Bryant

Quotes of the Month: October 2015

Quote of the Month: "We Live in a World Where Facts Don’t Matter"
-Charles Krauthammer

Stupid Quote of the Month:
“If only there was a ‘coon of the year’ award."
-Professor Anthea Butler on Ben Carson

And the rest...
"If I don't move, I'll be demoted to Secretary of State or something."
-Joe Biden

"What about a real black President who can properly address the racial divide?"
- Rupert Murdoch

"I'm really not even a human being."
-Hillary Clinton

“I never took a position on Keystone until I took a position on Keystone.”
- Hillary Clinton

"We may have overestimated his anger management skills."
-Megyn Kelly on Donald Trump

“I just don’t like the guy.”
-George W Bush on Ted Cruz

"The acoustic guitar is the most important."
-Keith Richards

“You can tell the Egyptian prime minister it’s a terrorist attack, but you can’t tell your own people?”
-Jim Jordan to Hillary Clinton

"I’ve got a lot of really cool things I could do other than sit around, being miserable, listening to people demonize me and me feeling compelled to demonize them. That is a joke. Elect Trump if you want that."
-Jeb Bush

"Calm people live. Tense people die."
-Adam Savage

“I’ve got to tell you the truth — even in New Jersey what you’re doing is called rude.”
-Chris Christie to the CNBC Moderator

“That debate reflected a debate between the Bolsheviks and the Mensheviks.”
-Ted Cruz

Quotes of the Month: October 2014

Quote of the Month: "We do stories on food stamps, but only to the extent that we prove the cast that they’re needed, without also examining well-established fraud and abuse. We look at unemployment but only to the extent that we present sympathetic characters showing that benefits should be extended rather than examining, also, the escalating cost and instances of fraud. We cover minimum wage but only to the extent that we help make the case for raising it, without giving much due to the other side, which argued it will have the opposite effect than intended."


-Sharyl Attkinson

Stupid Quotes of the Month:

"To be very, very honest with you, the South has not always been the friendliest place for African-Americans," Landrieu said. "It’s been a difficult time for [President Obama] to present himself in a very positive light as a leader. It’s not always been a good place for women to present ourselves. It’s more of a conservative place, so we’ve had to work a little bit harder on that."


-Senator Mary Landrieu

"That is the worst kind of politics. And we are gonna escort whore out the door."


-South Carolina Democratic Gubernatorial Candidate Vincent Sheheen

"It would be wonderful if we were able to give this man all of the power that he needs to pass the things that he needs to pass."


-Gwyneth Paltrow on Obama

　

and the rest...

"Most of our Democrat voters aren't aware there's even an election on November 4."


-Barack Obama

"I think we're looking at a 30-year war."


-Leon Panetta on ISIS

"There is a feeling that the president has given up on the big issues facing this country."


-Leon Panetta

"It's not really about asking for the raise, but knowing and having faith that

the system will actually give you the right raises as you go along."


-Satya Nadella of Microsoft

"This is the beginning of the long goodbye."


-Roger Daltrey on the 50th Anniversary tour

"It sucked."


-Michael Keaton on why he did not do Batman Forever

"Honestly, the whole thing is just showing the beginning signs of fraying around the edges. It’s a little bit old. Last summer there were five or seven different ones out."


-Robert Downey Jr

"Cocaine is terrific if you want to hang out with people you don't know very well and play ping pong all night. It's bad for almost everything else... the day after cocaine is rough."


-Amy Poehler

"Completely. Not only Mitt and I are done, but the kids are done. Done. Done. Done."


-Ann Romney

"It's time to start offending people."


-Chris Christie

"Don't touch my girlfriend."


-A stupid voter to Obama

"He's really batshit crazy."


-James Spader on Ultron

'Don’t let anybody tell you that it’s corporations and businesses that create jobs."


-Hillary Clinton

"Make no mistake, these policies [of mine] are on the ballot, every single one of them."


-Barack Obama

"This administration has been more dangerous to the press than any in American history."


-Susan Page on the Obama Administration

"The thing about Bibi is, he’s a chickenshit."

-The Obama Administration on Israeli P.M. Benjamin Netanyahu

"There are, on occasion, electoral races in which both candidates are of high quality and high integrity and conduct a tough but fair campaign about the issues. Fair-minded voters have a difficult choice, but they can know that, no matter who is elected, they'll be well represented by someone who won't embarrass their community. The election for the House of Representatives seat in the 11th New York Congressional District is nothing like that."


-Staten Island Advance

Quotes of the Month: May 2014

Quote of the Month: "I, myself, deeply regret what happened between me and President Clinton. Let me say it again: I. Myself. Deeply. Regret. What. Happened."


-Monica Lewinsky
Stupid Quote of the Month: "i guess there are some out there who dont like to think that a holocaust survivor had a leg up over a black/brown person due to skin color."


-Oliver Willis
"Basically, I was against all white people."


-Michael Jordan on growing up
"Thirty days in the hospital? And when she reappears, she's wearing glasses that are only for people who have traumatic brain injury? We need to know what's up with that."


-Karl Rove on Hillary Clinton
"What has he done, big Magic Johnson, what has he done?" -


-Donald Sterling
"We must lead."


-Chris Christie on American foreign policy
"I will not stand for it."


-Barack Obama on the VA Scandal
"If there’s ever been evidence that a government-run system of health care is a disaster, it’s here. It’s rationing. It’s waitlists and corruption and laziness, as you get when people are salaried rather than working in the free market."

–Charles Krauthammer on the VA


"I mean, is that how we're now setting the strategy of the United States of America in a war zone, where so many have died and so much treasure and blood has been spent, so a president can leave office looking good?"


-Charles Krauthammer
"It is absolutely true that in the 21st century, American isolationism is not an option."


-Barack Obama

Person of the Year 2013

Person of the Year: Mariano Rivera : Style and grace. He went out on top.

and the rest...

2. Vladimir Putin : He completely manhandled an overmatched Barack Obama, reinserted Russia into the Middle East after four decades, and somehow became a Nobel Peace Prize candidate (thanks to Barry).

3. Pope Francis I : The dude was a bouncer.

4. Edward Snowden: How he released the info makes him a douche bag and quite frankly, he's a tool, but the Obama spy program goes too far.

5. Prince George of Cambridge : Most likely, George will be the first monarch of the 22nd century. 

and the rest... 

Chris Christie

Batkid

Grumpy Cat

Brian Griffin  (RIP)

Ray Lewis

Megyn Kelly

Previous winners: Miguel Cabrera (2012), Justin Verlander (2011), Drew Brees (2010), Leonard Nimoy (2009), Barack Obama (2008), Al Gore (2007), Rahm Emmanuel (2006)

Quotes of the Month: November 2013

Quotes of the Month: “This is not a historic agreement, it’s a historic mistake.”

-Benjamin Netanyahu

And

"The only thing the HOF will let me in for is to use the restroom."

-Todd Jones

Dumb Quotes of the Month:

"It's fascinating to me that some of the pushback is coming from, sort of, white suburban moms who -- all of a sudden -- their child isn't as brilliant as they thought they were and their school isn't quite as good as they thought they were, and that's pretty scary."

-Arne Duncan

And

"Probably in one of my drunken stupors, probably approximately about a year ago."

-Toronto Mayor Rob Ford on when he tried crack cocaine.

And the rest…

“He’s done the best he could under the circumstances. His major accomplishment was Obamacare, and the implementation of it now is questionable at best.”

-Jimmy Carter

"I know tonight, a dispirited America, angry with their dysfunctional government in Washington, looks to New Jersey to say,'Is what I think happening really happening? Are people really coming together. Are we really working, African-Americans and Hispanics, suburbanites and city dwellers, farmers and teachers. Are we really all working together.' Let me give the answer to everyone who is watching tonight: Under this government our first job is to get the job done and as long as I'm governor that job will always, always be finished."

-Chris Christie

“I am sorry that they are finding themselves in this situation based on assurances they got from me."

-Barack Obama

"Honor the commitment the federal government made to those people and let them keep what they got."

-Bill Clinton to Barack Obama

“Certain situations we just got outplayed, ……….and outcoached.”

-Ed Reed

"It is a rolling calamity that must be scrapped." 

-John Boehner

"I prefer a Church which is bruised, hurting and dirty because it has been out on the streets, rather than a Church which is unhealthy from being confined and from clinging to its own security."

Pope Francis I

Political Quotes of the Year: 2011

In no particular order...

“The Obama agenda is over.”

-Mitch McConnell

“Death to the dictator.”

-Iranian Protestors

“Go get a job right after you take a bath.”

-Newt Gingrich to OWS

“I’m a devout Catholic and I honor my faith and love it . . . but they have this conscience thing.”

-Nancy Pelosi

“What the hell are we paying you for?”

-Chris Christie to President Obama

“The Taliban, per se, is not the enemy.”

-Joe Biden

“It was a meeting of the world’s most powerful communist and the president of China.”

-Craig Ferguson on the Chinese President’s White House visit

“Good evening. Tonight, I can report to the American people and to the world that the United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama bin Laden, the leader of al-Qaida, and a terrorist who's responsible for the murder of thousands of innocent men, women, and children.”

-Barack Obama


"Osama always loved Snooki’s hair poof. He called it nature’s turban.”

-Jimmy Kimmel

“With allies like that, who needs the left?”

-Paul Ryan on Newt Gingrich

“I did not sext Anthony Weiner.”

-Ginger Lee

"Obama is the most successful food stamp president in American History.”

-Newt Gingrich

Best on-air exchange:

“Do you have a degree in economics?”

-Contessa Brewer to Congressman Mo Brooks

“Yes mam, I do. Highest honors.”

-Mo Brooks to Contessa Brewer

“This would be easier if I could do this on my own.”

-Barack Obama wishing he were dictator?

"This economic mandate represents a wholly novel and potentially unbounded assertion of congressional authority: the ability to compel Americans to purchase an expensive health insurance product they have elected not to buy, and to make them re-purchase that insurance product every month for their entire lives."

-11^th Circuit Court on Obamacare’s Individual Mandate

"Socrates taught that wisdom begins in the recognition of how little we know. Mr. Obama is perpetually intent on telling us how much he knows. Aristotle wrote that the type of intelligence most needed in politics is prudence, which in turn requires experience. Mr. Obama came to office with no experience. Plutarch warned that flattery "makes itself an obstacle and pestilence to great houses and great affairs." Today's White House, more so than any in memory, is stuffed with flatterers.”

“Stupid is as stupid does, said the great philosopher Forrest Gump. The presidency of Barack Obama is a case study in stupid does.”

-Bret Stephens WSJ

"POTUS has played more golf this month than I have: I have created more jobs this month than he has.”

-Professional Golfer Paul Azinger

“It's deeply bizarre and deeply creepy.”

-State Department Victoria Nuland on Moammar Gadhafi’s obsession with Condi Rice

“My neighbor’s two dogs have created more shovel-ready projects than this current administration.”

-Former N.M. Governor Gary Johnson on the Stimulus

"We’re the country that built the Intercontinental Railroad."

-Barack Obama (he meant transcontinental).

“If asking a billionaire to pay the same tax rate as a Jew, uh, as a janitor makes me a warrior for the working class, I wear that with a badge of honor. I have no problem with that.”

-Barack Obama confusing Jews and Janitors

"I think we ought to suspend, perhaps, elections for Congress for two years and just tell them we won't hold it against them, whatever decisions they make, to just let them help this country recover."

-Governor Bev Perdue

OBAMA: "I can see the unemployment line from my house!"

-Ann Coulter

'President Obama, This Is Your Army. We Are Ready to March. Let's Take These Son of Bitches Out'

-James Hoffa

"Murder will continue to rise. Rape will continue to rise. All crime will continue to rise."

-Joe Biden on what would happen if the Jobs Bill fails

“We want sweeping unspecified change.”

- A sign in the Occupy Wall Street protests

“I left the Democratic plantation a long time ago.”

-Herman Cain

"After nearly nine years, America's war in Iraq will be over."

-Barack Obama

“All my people love me.”

-Moamer Gadhafi

“Do you know right from wrong?”

-Moammar Khadafy (last words)

“We came. We saw. He died.”

-Hillary Clinton celebrating Khadafy’s death

Quotes of the Month: August 2011

Quote of the Month:
"This economic mandate represents a wholly novel and potentially unbounded assertion of congressional authority: the ability to compel Americans to purchase an expensive health insurance product they have elected not to buy, and to make them re-purchase that insurance product every month for their entire lives."

-11^th Circuit Court on Obamacare’s Individual Mandate
Dumb Quote of the Month:
"Now I don't even want to have to be associated with [Obama], it's like touching a tar baby and you're stuck, you're part of the problem now. You can't get away."

-Congressman Doug Lamborn on Barack Obama

Meltdown of the Month:
“It's no longer acceptable in mixed company -- meaning bipartisan company -- to use the goddamn word 'climate.' And some of the exact same people — I can go down a list of their names — are involved in this. And so what do they do? They pay pseudo-scientists to pretend to be scientists to put out the message: ‘This climate thing, it’s nonsense. Man-made CO2 doesn’t trap heat. It may be volcanoes.’ Bullshit! ‘It may be sun spots.’ Bullshit! ‘It’s not getting warmer.’ Bullshit!

-Al Gore
Slam of the Month:

“Socrates taught that wisdom begins in the recognition of how little we know. Mr. Obama is perpetually intent on telling us how much he knows. Aristotle wrote that the type of intelligence most needed in politics is prudence, which in turn requires experience. Mr. Obama came to office with no experience. Plutarch warned that flattery "makes itself an obstacle and pestilence to great houses and great affairs." Today's White House, more so than any in memory, is stuffed with flatterers.”

“Stupid is as stupid does, said the great philosopher Forrest Gump. The presidency of Barack Obama is a case study in stupid does.”

-Bret Stephens WSJ
And the rest….
"They have acted like terrorists."

-Joe Biden on the Tea Party

　
"Heck, Sean, if we were real domestic terrorists, shoot, President Obama would be wanting to pal around with us, wouldn’t he? I mean he didn’t have a problem paling around with Bill Ayers back in the day when he kicked off his political career in Bill Ayers' apartment.”

-Sarah Palin
“Is it idiocy or optimism that enables smokers to play the lottery without ever acknowledging the irony?”

-Simon Pegg

"Well, I guess he not only likes Canadian health care, but he likes Canadian RV's." --

-Illinois Congressman Aaron Schock

"We kept trying to milk outs and almost ran out of milk."

-Jim Leyland
"POTUS has played more golf this month than I have: I have created more jobs this month than he has.”

-Professional Golfer Paul Azinger
“It's deeply bizarre and deeply creepy.”

-State Department Victoria Nuland on Moammar Gadhafi’s obsession with Condi Rice
“Get the Hell off the beach.”

-Chris Christie to idiots refusing to evacuate for Hurricane Irene
“When I’ll consider myself a dirty player is when my mom tells me.”

-Ndamukong Suh