Quotes of the Month: February 2015

Quote of the Month: "A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP"


-Leonard Nimoy

Stupid Quote of the Month:
"Because Michael, face it -- the guy was basically average in terms of size, strength, speed, jumping ability, all the things that you seem to think make a great player."


-Bill Walton on Michael Jordan


Dueling Confusion of the Month:
"When the final accounting is done, 2014 will have been the most lethal year for global terrorism in the 45 years such data has been compiled."


- Director of National Intelligence James Clapper
"Despite ISIL, despite the visible killings that you see and how horrific they are, we are actually living in a period of less daily threat to Americans and to people in the world than normally; less deaths, less violent deaths today, than through the last century."


-John Kerry
　


and the rest...
"Unless we get on our high horse and think this is unique to some other place,

remember that during the Crusades and the Inquisition, people committed terrible

deeds in the name of Christ."


-Barack Obama at the 2015-national-prayer-breakfast
"The only problem we’re going to have is running out of fuel and bullets."


-King Abdullah
"In attempting to reduce the importance of one great talent over another, you make a mockery of all musicians and music from every genre, including your own."


-Shirley Manson to Kanye West
"They were killed simply for the fact they were Christians."


-Pope Francis I
"I am my own man."


-Jeb Bush
"No religion is responsible for terrorism, people are responsible for violence and terrorism."

-Barack Obama

"I do not believe, and I know this is a horrible thing to say, but I do not believe that the president loves America."


-Rudy Giuliani
"If we looked around the world and say long-term we cannot kill every terrorist around the world nor should we try, how do you get at the root causes of this? Look, it might be too nuanced of an argument for some like I’ve seen over the past 24 hours some of the commentary out but it’s really the smart way for Democrats, for Republicans, military commanders, our partners in the Arab world think we need to combat it."


-Marie Harf

Quotes of the Month: December 2013

Quote of the Moment:

“We thought he was going to be the next Messiah.”

-Barbara Walters on Barack Obama

Stupid Quotes of the Month:

“I am a proud non-reader of books. I like to get information from doing stuff like actually talking to people and living real life.”

- Kanye West

And

"It seems like, to me, a vagina -- as a man -- would be more desirable than a man's anus."

-Phil Robertson

Slam of the Month:

"He [Jay Z] got him a big raise, but he got him an extra 30-day vacation -- and it’s called October."

-Pete Rose on Robinson Cano

And the rest:

“Obama’s tardy epiphanies do not temper his enthusiasm for giving sauropod government ever-deeper penetration into society. He thinks this serves equality. Actually, big government inevitably drives an upward distribution of wealth to those whose wealth, confidence and sophistication enable them to manipulate government."

-George Will

“Embrace the suck.”

-Nancy Pelosi

"This isn't a wrinkle, it's a trainwreck."

-Charles Krauthammer on Obamacare

"Oh, this is ridiculous. Yet another person claiming it's racist to have a white Santa.’ And by the way, for all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white."

-Megyn Kelly

 "I think I just became the first president to ever publicly mention Area 51."

-Barack Obama

"I think they're misleading their followers. I think they're pushing our members in places where they don't want to be. And frankly, I just think that they've lost all credibility by opposing legislation before the details are known."

-John Boehner

“I hate how the LGBT community says it’s all about ‘love’ and ‘equality,’” she continued. “However, if you don’t agree with their lifestyle, they spread the most hate. It is so hypocritical it makes my stomach turn. They need to learn how to respect others’ opinions and not just jump to the conclusion that everyone who doesn’t support homosexuality and gay marriage is homophobic.”

-Bristol Palin

 

Douche Bags of the Year: 2013

1. Barack Obama: Intentionally taking health care away from people, destroying the health care system, second Munich agreement, executive overreach, numerous scandals, fixing economic numbers, ruining the economy, and how about them Iranian centrifuges? He even told a lady that her 105 year old mother did not need treatment and could get pain drugs until she died. On the bright side, Obama has shown progressivism's worthlessness.

2. Kathleen Sibelius : In charge of the health care website, refused to grant waivers to people that lost their insurance plans,  refused to intervene to help a young girl that needed a lung transplant sentencing her to die (luckily a judge intervened). This is one of the worst people to ever walk the Earth.

3. Miley Cyrus: Please go away.  

4. George Zimmerman:  How long before he gets in trouble again?

5. Rob Ford: On the bright side, Toronto's crack mayor is entertaining

and the rest...

Martin Bashir

Edward Snowden

Richie Incognito

Karshasian/West

Previous winners:

Jerry Sandusky, Joe Paterno, and Penn State (2012), Casey Anthony (2011), LeBron James (2010), and Reality TV Stars (2009)

Tool of the Decade: The Aughts

Here are the candidates for Tool of the Decade:

Ron Artest: Artest is the headcase that initiated the Malice at the Palace. This tool goes nuts in Auburn Hills and Detroit gets blamed.

Barry Bonds: He cheated…and he cheated because he was jealous of Sosa and McGwire. Oh yeah, he’s also a racist asshole.

Barry Bonds Fans: They are like the Jonestown cult. Despite overwhelming evidence, they still support this guy, his behavior, and make excuses for him.

Hugo Chavez: I am not sure why this thuggish dictator is so popular amongst the left. His heavy handed dictatorship has destroyed the Venezuelan economy and crushed freedoms. Yet, he is popular in American leftist circles.

Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears: Talentless people that are famous for their trashy public behavior.

Perez Hilton: A minor annoyance to be sure. Just when you thought celebrity stalking could not get worse, enter Hilton, TMZ, and other filth.

Bernie Maddoff: He even bankrupted George Castanza (See Curb Your Enthusiasm).

The Music Industry: They eliminated cassette singles, overpriced CD singles to force people to buy full length albums. This created the download craze which they then started suing over (PR Nightmare). All of this and then came American Idol. If you are good at karaoke, then try out! The end result was a collapse of profits, the industry, and the worst crap to be heard on radio since the early 50s.

Reality TV Stars: Who is worse? The fools on reality TV or the fools that watch reality TV?

Michael Vick: Dog fighting? He should have been hung up by his testicles and given an electric cattle prod up his ass.

Kanye West: Where to start…

The Winner: Barry Bonds and his fans

Douche Bag of the Year

Now it is time for my first annual Douche Bag of the Year Award. There were about 20 contenders. I narrowed it down to ten. Here are the nominees for Douche Bag of the Year:

1. ACORN: Now we know what community organizers do. They organize pimps and hos!

2. Anita Dunn: The former White House Communications Director and all around lousy human being loves Chairman Mao and likes to quote him to students. Mao killed 60 million.

3. Global Warming Advocates: Turns out they are not only wrong, but cooking the information as well.

4. Perez Hilton: Gets mad at Carrie Prejean for supporting “traditional” marriage, attacks Fergie, and the cries on his webcam after someone in Will.I.Am’s entourage beat him up. He was the odds on favorite to win this until recently.

5. Notre Dame University: Refusing to go to a bowl game against CMU. COWARDS!

6. Barack Obama: Barack Obama is now the most disliked president of all time at this stage of his presidency. No president has been as low in the polls 11 months into office as Obama. The stimulus failed, the job seminar was a useless photo op, he’s ignored the economy to focus on a health care plan NO ONE wants, Iran has completely snubbed him, it took forever to decide to help the troops in Afghanistan, and world leaders consider him a joke. Lastly, he keeps blaming all the world’s problems on the Republicans, but he was in Congress just as responsible as anyone else for today’s problems. On the bright side, he is going to do a holiday special with Oprah.

7. Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow: If you liked Joseph Goebbels and Eva Braun, these two are for you! Goebbels may have been less hateful than Olbermann.

8. Reality TV Wannabes: Balloon Boy. White House Party Crashers. One of these days, these reality star wannabes are really going to hurt someone.

9. Kanye West: How do you diss Taylor Swift??

10. Tiger Woods: This has become rather amusing. Karma strikes a true phony.

The Winner: Reality TV Wannabes!